Whack-A-Mole

To follow up on the nice words I said about my mom yesterday, this post is an ode to a dear friend I had to say goodbye to this week. Saying goodbye is hard, especially when something has been with you for your entire life. 

This dear friend has been with me through everything. Seen my worst, my very worst. Literally. My. Worst. It knew my secrets, my fears, my loves and more than maybe I even knew.

Okay, sorry to lead you on with this confession. This "friend" was actually a huge unsightly mole that I have hated, despised, stressed about and thought about most every day of my adult life. It was removed Monday at a routine annual skin check with my new Dermatologist. However, I really really hope that one or several of you aren't reading this paragraph and you comment something sympathetically about me saying goodbye to a friend. That would be what I call a great success. Ending this paragraph with one more sentence so that my wish isn't revealed to those who skim, mwahaha evil laugh. 

Hold out your pinky. Pretend that a mole the size of your pinky finger nail-to-tip, yes including the entire width of your finger, really the WHOLE thing, was somewhere on your body. Only your parents, doctors and most but not all lovers have seen this mole. Unavoidable, and you really have no idea if it's been named before or not. Chances are yes.

I never named it. 

I've gone from avoiding showing doctors, asking doctors for opinions, scheduling surgery and chickening out to finally asking a sweet woman who I just met remove this mole. In ten minutes she drew on it, numbed it, removed it, burned it and bandaged the remaining wound. Oh, and she was the sweetest woman to say "nice you meet you" on her way out of the office, hopefully not to dinner plans that I'd made her queasy over with my unannounced request.

For the next few weeks it will be covered with an eclectic collection of Angry Bird band-aids (Alissa at Graceless Lady, I am pretty sure these were meant for you and I was the worst and never sent them. Check your gmail for "bandaid" if you don't recall) and will be closely taken care because now I don't have to ever feel embarrassed about it ever again. 

It looks so good that I wish I could share my transformation with the world. But I won't. 

I will share that I celebrated "whack-a-mole" with a dinner of chips + salsa + guacamole.

At least I'm funny, right?

Are you confessing with Melissa today?

Oh Hey, Let's Confess!

Good morning and welcome back to me who has been absent from social media land for 5 days. 

By now you should know that I can be pretty good at disconnecting from the internet when I want to. As much of a WiFi, instagram, blogging etc etc etc junkie I come across as being, I'm my happiest when I'm disconnected from the iPhone and general internet noise.

Yes, I could have continued on with my quiet vibes for another few days but I didn't want to miss the fun of Wednesday Confessions with my dearest friend Melissa. Are you playing along?

Confessions!

:: My FitBit says I took 198 steps last week. This isn't a confession of non-activity,  but more of an admission that I wore my FitBit band without the FitBit sensor inside of it. So, all fashion - no function looks like a lazy Jessi. 

:: I joined a dating website (or app, whatever) during a girl's night a week back and it's terrifying. Nope, still not for me. In hindsight, it wasn't as bad as the last time I tried the same path. Maybe I'll tell you that story sometime. 

:: I am booking travel plans all over the place. You don't need to know where just yet, but the next few weekends look pretty wonderfully packed with girl-time, Easter and a Wedding. Crazy-great feels all around!!

:: Part of "disconnecting" included completing Season 3 of House of Cards. This season was much different than the last two and now I'm holding out on TV binges until Game of Thrones come back on. The next two weeks will be focused on this read.

:: I am long overdue for a hair appointment. My two-times-per-year cut and color falls around the same timing of Daylight Saving Time but this Spring I haven't even scheduled. What's that word we say here, woof?

:: I've also lost the care to add a photo today. I'm sorry, kind of?

Hope you guys are having a great week!

Netflix, Will You be My Valentine?

Ladies and gentlemen, back at it for the third day in a row and we're here for the best day of all the days. Hump day confessions! Thanks again Melissa for bringing this back to life after a short down-time. I know it's not easy to host a link up but you're doing it good, right and handsomely. 

:: Let's start with confession the hands-down best part of my weekdays. Brooke (formerly known as Babbling Brookelyn) sends me a snapchat of her amazing instagram animals calendar that Mr. Guy got her and it's the best. It's a daily feature of some insta-famous animal account with their user name included so you can go see the rest of the page. I'm starting to notice my recent follows are animals, not people... and I'm okay with this. 

Meet @RustyRodas (from Portland!)

:: Getting "back into blogging" has been hard. What do we talk about? internet things? beauty things? life things? fitness things? recipe things? embarrassing things? uplifting things? travel things? terrifying things? I guess whatever I want but there's a block. Maybe it also comes from not seeing all the familiar faces around because I abandoned this world for a bit while I selfishly (my least favorite kind of fish) took a little write-only-read-never break. sorry?

:: Do you remember dance class Jessi? She is obnoxious, she is animated, she is wild and boy does she love a good rump shaker. I've been committing to my dance class lately and while I've forgotten a ton of the moves I'm still up for turning down... but for what? See what I did there? Don't believe me? This is from my dance class partner in crime. She really is always grabbing my butt and I'm always presenting it to her for grabbing. It's just so round and so.... out there. 

:: My Valentine this year is Netflix. That's right, you can't have him. Actually I'm taking it solo and going to get all luvo on myself this Saturday. That means doing all the treat-yo'self things like a good workout, mani/pedi, definitely some wine and hopefully making my skype date with Melissa happen. But I'm serious on Netflix. Any recommendations?

And that's what I've got today - find me something good on Netflix please? Love/romance related not required. 

Go confess all with Melissa!

Missing In Action January

Well hello and Happy New Year! 

Sure it's well past the middle of January but this is my first post of 2015 so I can still get away with well wishes for the new year. 

I want to start off the new year with a thank you to my loyal readers and anonymous peekers who've been poking around JumpingJE waiting patiently for me to publish something. For what? To give up my whereabouts, to see if I'm still in a relationship since I stopped Man-Crush-Monday'ing on instagram, to see what I got for Christmas gifts? I may never know why you've been checking in so much, but felt that showing up for unconventional confessions on Wednesday would be a pretty great way to break the ice.

Let's tell a story about my adventures. 

Christmas started off with a bang - and not the magical fireworks kind of bang, but more of the what-is-going-on-with-my-life-right-now-and-how-did-I-get-here kind. We're still sorting all of those feelings out, but it's safe to say that I (once again) was the center of attention on Christmas - even though it was my brother's first time home for Christmas in 5 years. Sorry family, thanks for understanding this drama-llama world. I don't understand it but I'm happy you do. 

The only thing missing from my Christmas story was the hallway selfie mirror I've really been wishing for. Nothing that a fun new pair of leggings can't fix - I even took them out for a spin for coffee with my sweetest lady, Marisa.  

Christmas passed and I had no decorations to take down, which was pretty amazing because in no time at all I was on a plane again. This time I was headed across the country for sixteen days of work, work and more work. 

You, my friends, had no early notice on this one and neither did I! I found out about this trip on Christmas Eve and had a heck of a time deciding what to pack for two weeks away in Memphis including New Years with the guy while also trying to make a pretty awesome impression at work. Yes - boyfriend is still around despite the absence of MCM'ing about him week-in and week-out. Don't take it personally, b! 

What did I pack? Something old, something new, something borrowed and something to work out in. Okay I may have brought a few things to work out in and none of them were touched a single time. Whoops. I did bring some cozy knits and a beautiful NYE dress though! 

You may want photo evidence of my adventures but there's nada. Zip zilch nada, not even an image worth sharing from my time away because I was in the office each day for 10-14 hours kicking butt and taking names. Well there may be one photo but that's not going on my blog - it was a picture of the worst bathroom stall I've ever almost used in my life - there was no spot for a toilet paper roll... huh?! To be fair it was a new building and a new stall, but really - how is the TP roll left out of the design sketches?

I made it back home with nothing to show but a pile of laundry and a bunch of clean workout clothes. My parents were amazing as always and fixed up my house with groceries, a made bed and fresh flowers. I really don't deserve it all but someday I'll pay it forward. 

Oh don't forget the part where I completely busted my iPhone and thank my impulsive self for getting the Apple Care because now I have a shiny brand new one! 

After all of that nonsense it was this that got me through the last 25 days. A simple print I'd read a thousand times but never really understood until I needed it. Thanks mom for always giving me wisdom even when it's not intentional. 

Peace and Love and Humpday with Melissa <3

It's Almost Christmas Confessions!

Welcome back to Wednesday and Merry Christmas (eve)! 

It makes me so happy to be looking forward to an entire day off of work, knowing that it's likely one of my very last for a while. There's quite a big event on Monday that is going to likely take quite a lot of my time over the next few months. 

Since the last time I was here, the following things have happened:

- I planked in front of a crowd at my holiday work party - twice

- I photo-boothed at my holiday work party - twice

- I've sent 15+ triple-chin snapchat selfies to some lucky recipients

- I've scrambled and failed at Christmas shopping

- Succeeded with buying a selfie tripod. Worth a shot, right?

- Mom successfully delivered toys, food baskets, clothes and miracles to seven families in need.

- Seriously, it took a village ^

Now we're ready for  a few quick Christmas confessions as I watch Christmas Story over FaceTime with my handsome guy who has been working way too hard. I'd show you how hard but don't think I'm allowed to show that frazzled look on the internet. Thanks for the extra MCM love this week!

:: Here is our very sad Christmas tree. What's even sadder is that it's at my boyfriend's house across the country, is decorated with $5 worth of "ornaments" from the dollar tree and some lackluster short cord lights. The redeeming quality is a pretty sweet Bear-necessities ornament that we found at Hallmark and wouldn't leave until we were the proud owners. It seriously sings and everything - the perfect start to creating our Christmas magic. 

:: I am probably on Santa's naughty list this year, and mostly for being a jerk to my body. Workouts aren't a priority anymore, #paleo is a guideline and not a rule, more days are "off days" than I'd like to admit and my kettlebell strength is lacking. Ps did you know my mom can swing a 55lb kettlebell? My hero. 

:: I've had the same bathroom hand soap for as long as I've lived in this house. Literally the same bottle. This week as I was goofing around in the same aisle as the pumpkin spice ice cream (so basic) I found a brand new hand soap that I truly couldn't pass up. The smell was heavenly. Here are some other amazing beauty products at Trader Joe's.

:: I still don't have presents bought, wrapped or even decided. It's too late for Amazon Prime to save me now, isn't it? 

That's all - stay merry & bright! Enjoy the time with your loved ones!

Are you ready for Humpday Confessions to return in January with Melissa?

You're Welcome for these Confessions

If you wrote a confessions post today because of the news I shared yesterday, you're welcome. 

I really don't know if Melissa planned to start the link-up today or not, but I was hoping that my blog would either cause that to happen or get so much hype going around to breathe a little flame back into hump day. If there's no link-up actually live today, don't shoot the messenger... even if the messenger was also the creator and distributor of the rumor. Fact checking isn't my strong side. Hype generation might be. 

I feel so rusty about the whole thought of confessions - go easy on me today as this entire post based on facts while also an honest attempt to not ramble.

+ My poor guy has been working to the bone. 14-18 hour days in the office and on the actual hamster wheel of life. It's magical if he can leave before 10pm and it's even better if he can eat something other than Taco Bell for dinner. To add insult to injury, my #MCM photo on Monday was this, and as I type this post it only had 6 likes. Six! Including him! He's handsome, I know - but I think I've taken photos of my left thumb that had more likes. Go give him some instagram love, won't you?

+ I confess that I just realized my About Me page hasn't been updated since I first made it. It still said "I'm single and the mother of a betta fish". Well, I haven't been single since June (sorry babe) and my betta died while MaryMack was in town back in August. Pay attention, Jessi - being busy is no excuse. 

+ My daily breakfast includes a 20oz coffee, eggs and sausage patties. This runs me just under $5 at work and I can't stop, won't stop. It's gotten so good bad that me and my co-workers now sing "Nothhhing Compares 2U" by Sinead O'Connor, but rather than "2U" it's "2Sausage!!!".  Then if I'm lucky I follow it up with a bun-less cheeseburger, brussel sprouts, tots and bacon bits (heart eyed kitty emoji!)

+ I'm convinced that this high protein breakfast routine is contributing to these gainz, because since we're being honest I have hardly had time to work on my fitness in a month. Yes I feel strong and yes I feel healthy but I still can't do a pull-up. Selfie Level: Intermediate.

+ Speaking of working on my fitness, ClassPass is amazing and allowed me to defer my month pass to the new year because of the crazy work-life balance I'm unable to work around these days. I am quite thankful and also a little psyched because I saw that new studios were added in Portland this week!

That's all - I have to save some confessions for later because Hump Day is back!! Are you confessing today?

Go tell Melissa what handsome piece of man-meat should be the image here.

True Life: I Travel With a Penguin

Happy Wednesday!

Not sure what you think but I feel like this week isn't going by fast enough. That's mainly because I didn't get a ton of rest over the weekend amidst all of my jet-setting and tailgating. #partyhard #firstworldproblems

Speaking of jet-setting, I have an excellent confession for you today and I believe the title says it all. 

I am twenty-six years old and I travel with a very sweet stuffed penguin named Willie. 

Willie has actually had a few names but Willie is the one that's stuck - seems like a penguin's name, right? 

Okay so he's also not just my travel buddy, he's my bedtime buddy too. Call it a cure for the long distance, the sweet guy of mine bought me this a while ago and he's been my companion through the thick and thin. Willie is kind, sweet and doesn't resent me even though I shoved him into a drawer for four months and threatened to give him to mom and dad's golden retrievers as a chew toy. 

Willie's perfect for a lot of things including but not limited to the following:

:: Intimate nighttime snuggling

:: My Travel Companion

:: Gives it to me straight (look at those honest eyes)

:: He's a soft shoulder to cry on

:: He has a squishy tummy to sleep on

:: The most ruthless Netflix critic you'll ever meet

:: The best pillow for the long flights and adventures we take together. 

I could go on. You think I'm weird, don't you?

Yeah me too. 

Hump along with Kathy who is on vacation today, but still showed up to class!

Fried Chicken & Waffles

I knew that title would get your attention! What's a Wednesday post without a dirty photo of weekend brunchables?

I wasn't originally planning to show up to class today but I seem to have some information-hangry readers. Apparently if you check my blog every 3-5 hours for an update you can flush me out, it's science.

How about we compromise with a brief few sentences for the usual Wednesday round-up of silly things - don't say I never gave you anything!

:: All I ate on Saturday was some divine combination of fried chicken, waffle, bacon, eggs, orange juice and champagne. This place is a Portland must-see. 

:: I haven't actually read a book in forever - but when Kristen posted her crazy obsession striking again over Pride and Prejudice, I went to Costco and picked up my own pretty copy of the classic and look forward to reading it! 

:: I'm always saying that I want a "pretty" instagram, but then I clog it up with my sweaty selfies. I think this was why I created a fitness instagram in the first place, right?

:: Speaking of - I kind of forgot that I write a fitness blog. Is that a problem? Am I a bad blogger?

:: Last but not least - sometimes in work meetings when I "just can't", I make these silly graphics based on things people say or how a meeting is going... they never get old! 

Okay, seriously - get off my internets and go enjoy your PSL's!

Go link up with Kathy!

What's My Favorite Kind of Fish?

HUMP DAY!

I have a crazy silly funny confession for you today and it won't take long at all. I have heard all around blogland what a busy week this has been so I just thank you for coming around. It means a lot to me!

My deep confession all started when I was getting ready for work Monday morning. There was a year-end awards ceremony and I knew that I'd run into a lot of people I knew, so I decided to dress up a little for the occasion.

Everything was going great.

My dress fit well, 2nd day hair wasn't gross, even my hand didn't look awkward in the mirror selfie.

The part that caught me a little off guard was when I got into my car and turned the ignition, I realized that I hadn't fully shaved my legs in a year and there were little patches of spots I missed on my knees. The horror!

I didn't want to change my outfit and I didn't have much time to do a proper soap/water shave.

What's a girl to do?

I ran inside, grabbed my razor, jumped back in the car and proceeded to shave the parts that were left behind... slowly... all the way to work.

What's my favorite kind of fish you ask??

Efficiency.

It was hilarious and the perfect content for confessions today.

Oh, and it was totally worth all the hassle because I was called on stage to receive a pretty cool award for my serious accomplishments over the past year. The "Just Do It" award means I basically got 'ish done. If you've been reading for 12 months now (Mom, Brooke) you'll remember how challenging and rewarding it's been for me. 

Does the statue come with a raise?

Link up for Hump day with Kathy!

Humpday Confessions #2

We've made it to Wednesday which means that by 2pm PST I'll be ready to take a nap done with presenting my numbers I've crunched for March. I'll finally be able to come up for air and can "relax" until the beginning of April.

And to celebrate that, we're going to get mixed up in another session of Humpday Confessions! I'm loving this link-up because I get to share random thoughts and embarrassing stories that hit me week to week. You'll enjoy the 3rd bullet best of all - you're welcome. 

+ When I'm getting ready in the morning I could easily just throw my hair up in a bun, but instead I've been trying to save 2nd and 3rd day hair and wear it down. But not for work or to impress anybody - simply just for snapchats. My hair down is way more photogenic than my hair up in my opinion and probably yours too.

+ I promise that I make an effort to be patient with people, but hectic work-mode head-down me was challenged this week. When I know I'm going to be in the office 10+ hours, all I want is to be shut in a room with an endless supply of water, coffee, gum and good music. So, next time if you need something from me during week 1 of the month, know that time is money, money is power and power is pizza. amen.  

+ I am the worst kind of people. 

Last week was the first lunchtime dance class I've been able to make it to in weeks. I raced out of the office and over to the gym, stripped down, reached into my gym bag and there. was. no. sports. bra. *sigh* What do I do now? I was looking forward to class and I wasn't about to do the walk of shame out of the locker room by the peppy desk attendants. So what did I do? I thought "It's dance, women dance in normal bra's all the time". 

Except for the part where I know I get really sweaty in this class. 

Anyway, the girls stayed in tact through the workout and after my shower I shamefully and covertly put on a sweaty bra for the rest of the day in my normal clothes. 

Judge me, I don't care. I agree it was disgusting. I'll forever have 2 options in the duffel from now on! 

+ I had an amazing weekend, I really did. However, with all the rain and gloom outside my real need more than coffee and down time was a snuggle bunny like this little guy. Hurry up and get here, summer so that I don't feel these feels. Or maybe hurry up snuggle bunny? I'm really not sure which one I prefer here. 

+ Sometimes I'll spend 30 minutes here and there bookmarking GIFs that I'll want to use someday somewhere. This is a good thing right? It's like over-pinning to a style board though and I'll forget all of the things that I've saved. There's also the awkward thing where I'll love a GIF (like this one) but I never ever will know how/where/when I'd use it. This could double as a first world problem. 

1, 2, 3, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....

And that's a wrap! Have an amazing hump day!