What I Finally Learned About Long Distance Relationships

I'm always using the hashtag #LongDistanceIsHard on Instagram any time I abuse my girlfriend power to post un-approved photos of the guy. (example below)

That's because long distance IS hard. 

The need for connection, the absence of physical contact and even the void of those mundane errands like going to the grocery store make me miss my guy. The person I choose to spend my time with who mutually enjoys spending time with me can't always be there and I'm finally starting to realize that. 

We've both entered a really challenging time in our careers where we need to support each other, and the best way that we can be there for each other is to allow the other to focus, to not demand 100% attention and sometimes just not be such an energy-suck.

Through most of my time as a long distance girlfriend, there's always someone I'll talk to who will jealously say "oh, that must be so amazing! You have a boyfriend from far away who loves you and you still get your you-time". 

Pssch, yeah right - my "me" time is spent exactly how I want to spend it, on FaceTime talking to my guy about nothing in particular and everything that means anything. 

"No, no" they'll say, "you can make the most out of this opportunity while you're not living together to do the things you want to do, see your friends, take up a hobby, find yourself again, work out, cook great meals - this is the best of both worlds if you can see how to use it."

Hm. 

So the past two weeks as we've both had to spend more time at work and invest in our careers, I've made a conscious effort to latch onto some "me" time where otherwise I'd be staring at his handsome face through the screen and waiting for the next moment we could break away for some eye contact.

As a result, the dynamics of our LDR have changed. Here's what my "me time" has looked like:

+ I've made dinners other than "our" staple 2-3 egg scramble.

+ I started a book that I can't get enough of - hey look i'm reading!

+ Treated  m'self to a pedicure.

+ Bought some Christmas gifts already (includes Brooke's Birthday present - her Summer Birthday...)

+ Don't feel guilty about my workout schedule.

+ Feel less dependent on my cross country human-being.

+ Feel crazy productive at work.

+ Feel like I'm helping him - which goes for dayyyys in the love-deposit account. 

+ Realize we have more to talk about if we're not just asking what's been up since the last breath the other one took. 

It's been important to realize that we can accomplish our goals being far away from one another, but still feeling and knowing and trusting the security of your love being just one phone call away. 

And he'll always be there, and he'll always tell me he loves me before petting each other's sleepy faces at night. He's always there to support me and nothing drastically crazy will happen if we're out of contact for three hours doing our own things. It's actually quite peaceful. 

Plus, he still sends me Snapchats that make me giggle and love him even more. 

<3 you b!

Recap - Birthday Edition

You wouldn't believe me that I had a refreshing and relaxing birthday weekend considering the stress-crater that popped up on my face on Tuesday, but I did. It was everything that I hoped my 27th birthday would be, minus a few key people and pets - each of which I was able to see over the weekend in one way or another.

The travel time that it takes to get to my guy is almost discouraging - but thankfully his handsome smiling face is always on the other side, even if my face was moody this time around when I was convinced that I'd lost my luggage upon arrival. 

I was almost delayed an entire day because of the cold weather and inclement weather that has swept the nation - but thankfully my parents are awesome and they got me to the Portland airport with enough time to catch a flight that was departing an hour earlier. Huge win - almond milk latte included!

What I love about the time that I spend out of town is that there's never any "agenda". It's no rules, no plans, no schedule - just relaxing, lounging and wondering why the heck I packed so many outfit options that ultimately come back home with me perfectly clean with just some crease-lines.

That's not all that we did - I also had the pleasure of meeting the guy's parents over four-hours of dinner and drinks, so I zipped up my brand new blue dress and curled my hair to make a first impression. That's right, four hours and would have loved to spend more time if we had it.

A few depressing things over the weekend included work for both of us and the first loss for his Mississippi State Bulldogs vs Alabama (and yes, Melissa thank you for rubbing it in). I was there to console him as best as I could, but in the end all that would offer any kind of relief was pizza delivery and Netflix. Nothing like quality snuggle time with my guy.

On my birthday I woke to the start of a text message string that evolved into 27 reasons why my guy loves me, all scheduled with a timer and nothing pre-written. It's quite the work of art and I've re-read it more than 27 times since then if we're going to be honest. He says he's not thoughtful, but the emotional outpour along with matching stuffed animal snuggle buddies and two massage gift certificates to my favorite lady in Portland proved otherwise.

The other awesome part of the day was the hour Brian and I spent on a video call with mom, dad and the golden sisters.

There was also this, which was a pretty excellent PicMonkey creation by my mother if you ask me!

To cap off the night, my guy braved the 20-degree weather to grill our favorite dinner of steak, ahi tuna steak and sweet potatoes then treated me to the first hour of Pulp Fiction (which I still need to finish). I did my best to not burn down the house with the 27 burning candles that decorated my special cake.

Twenty-seven candles can sure light up a room! 

All in all, quite the perfect birthday weekend. Don't you agree?

Y'all Wear Dresses to Football Games?

But seriously, I wore a dress to a football game and lived to tell the tale. 

Not just any football game, but THE football game of the year (up until this point). 

In case you missed it last week, the man-friend is a Mississippi State alumni and desperately wanted to go see his Bulldogs (ranked 3rd last week) face Auburn (ranked 2nd last week) at his old college campus. He not only wanted to go see the game, but he wanted me to come down for the weekend, take a road trip and see the exciting game with him.

He surprised me with plane tickets (thank you airline miles) and asked that I took a day off of work to make the most of an impromptu quick weekend together.

I packed the only maroon thing I own - which just so happens to be a dress - and threw it in my suitcase along with all the usual things I take when I visit, like his favorite pajama pants I stole or the sweet stuffed animal people always swoon over when I travel. 

Saturday morning we woke up earlier than usual, but later than planned - and made the 3 hour trip south to Starkville, Mississippi (or Stark Vegas as I saw on a few T-shirts). 

The Tailgate

Call me silly, but I had no idea what tailgating actually was. 

I literally thought that you had to have a friend with a truck and could shotgun a Coors Light with the boys in order to hang, but that was far from the truth. There were tents side by side for as far as your eyes could see with the coolest set-ups you could imagine - from a catered spread to an entertainment set-up that's better than what I have in my home. Fairly classy for what I otherwise pictured in my head.

There were also college "kids" running wild that made me feel ancient with their beer drinking baby faces, but we won't go into that today.

The Game

It was "hot as Hades" all day so we had no need for the jackets we'd packed. Even with the 30% warning of rain in the forecast we were ready to take the chance for a little drizzle. By the time all 62,000 fans shuffled into the stadium, we'd walked at least 2 miles to our seats after getting lost along the way.

The game - unbelievable. For the first NCAA game I've ever been to it seems like the bar's been set pretty high. I was jumping out of my seat, booing, pretending my water bottle was a cowbell and celebrating the team's early success with my overly ecstatic boyfriend.

The Storm

This happens to be one of my favorite parts of the game to talk about because anyone can relate whether you're a football fan or not.

Remember how above I said there was a 30% chance of rain? Well it rained.

Oh no, it poured (and I won a bet).

A few tiny sprinkles kissed our skin as the rest of the stadium whipped out their stealth-mode ponchos and had protection from the inevitable downpour. My guy graciously let me borrow his hat to save my hair, but by the time two minutes had passed we were all drenched head to toe (except the poncho-wearing transformers) and I gave it back to him to throw all caution to the wind.

I stood there, arms open, laughing hysterically as I cheered on the team and wouldn't retreat to shelter like many of the fans. In all my life I've never been rained on that hard - not even in my four years of year-round long distance running in the Pacific NW.

After what seemed like 20 minutes of torrential beat-down it all stopped, but couldn't change the fact that I was now a drowned rat in a sleeveless fit & flare dress that was now clung to my rain soaked body.

Jokes on everyone, I'd actually packed a second outfit (and some towels) with fear that Tailgating would get out of hand. So after the game I had a dry option for the 3 hour night drive.

After the exciting and heart racing game play, my guy's team won decisively and is now ranked 1st in the nation after being unranked only four weeks ago. It was an awesome time and a worthwhile trip for us.

I look forward to making it to many more games with this guy, but looks like I'm going to have to find a few more game day dresses.