Tuesday, November 25, 2014

What I Finally Learned About Long Distance Relationships

I'm always using the hashtag #LongDistanceIsHard on Instagram any time I abuse my girlfriend power to post un-approved photos of the guy. (example below)

That's because long distance IS hard. 

The need for connection, the absence of physical contact and even the void of those mundane errands like going to the grocery store make me miss my guy. The person I choose to spend my time with who mutually enjoys spending time with me can't always be there and I'm finally starting to realize that. 

We've both entered a really challenging time in our careers where we need to support each other, and the best way that we can be there for each other is to allow the other to focus, to not demand 100% attention and sometimes just not be such an energy-suck.

Through most of my time as a long distance girlfriend, there's always someone I'll talk to who will jealously say "oh, that must be so amazing! You have a boyfriend from far away who loves you and you still get your you-time". 

Pssch, yeah right - my "me" time is spent exactly how I want to spend it, on FaceTime talking to my guy about nothing in particular and everything that means anything. 

"No, no" they'll say, "you can make the most out of this opportunity while you're not living together to do the things you want to do, see your friends, take up a hobby, find yourself again, work out, cook great meals - this is the best of both worlds if you can see how to use it."


So the past two weeks as we've both had to spend more time at work and invest in our careers, I've made a conscious effort to latch onto some "me" time where otherwise I'd be staring at his handsome face through the screen and waiting for the next moment we could break away for some eye contact.

As a result, the dynamics of our LDR have changed. Here's what my "me time" has looked like:

+ I've made dinners other than "our" staple 2-3 egg scramble.
+ I started a book that I can't get enough of - hey look i'm reading!
+ Treated  m'self to a pedicure.
+ Bought some Christmas gifts already (includes Brooke's Birthday present - her Summer Birthday...)
+ Don't feel guilty about my workout schedule.
+ Feel less dependent on my cross country human-being.
+ Feel crazy productive at work.
+ Feel like I'm helping him - which goes for dayyyys in the love-deposit account. 
+ Realize we have more to talk about if we're not just asking what's been up since the last breath the other one took. 

It's been important to realize that we can accomplish our goals being far away from one another, but still feeling and knowing and trusting the security of your love being just one phone call away. 

And he'll always be there, and he'll always tell me he loves me before petting each other's sleepy faces at night. He's always there to support me and nothing drastically crazy will happen if we're out of contact for three hours doing our own things. It's actually quite peaceful. 

Plus, he still sends me Snapchats that make me giggle and love him even more. 

<3 you b!


Lynsey @ Eternally Wanderlyn said...

Haha. Love the Snapchat! LDR are hard! But it's great that you're spending some time on you and your interests. :)

Lora Ashley said...

HA! The snapchat! I love that you both are putting the effort in to make it work. It's obvious that you both care about each other a lot.

Chloe said...

That snapchat was the bomb! I'm stealing his idea.

I admire your strength in this! And great job at spending time on you. =)

Kristen said...

that snap chat though, hilarious.
obviously with KC and I, we were in such different time zones that we couldn't always talk or whatever. So I did get some me time, which was great but as soon as I knew he was awake, or for that hour that I was awake before he went to sleep.. you couldn't pry me away from the phone.
do you have long term plans, if i may be so bold as to ask?

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Long distance IS hard, but if you can both weather that, then you can weather anything. I met wife-to-be serendipitously, and then we had to endure over one year of living not only long-distance, but literally across the ocean from one another (she is German, I am Kentuckian). We made five cross-globe trips to visit one another, and now we are getting married next month in a Bavarian castle. Long-distance is worth the challenges if it's meant to be :)

MakeMeUpMia said...

Best snapchat ever, so funny! I've never had a long distance relationship so I can't totally relate, but sounds like your two are doing pretty dang well at it :)

Amanda Nicole said...

that snap chat is amazing!

brooke lyn said...

a book?! you must really be taking this me time seriously ;) but honestly I think this is healthy! and like you said you'll have more to share when you do finally get to talk. and then maybe we can actually hang out on a weekend?!

Helene in Between said...

i think you guys are navigating the waters of long distance so well (as someone who was long distance for 4 years :)) and I think you're doing great things on your own to keep you busy!

Just Me, Angie! said...

Two people can only compliment each other if they're each whole. Sounds like steps in the right direction. Your Mom :)

Brittany said...

Seems like you have a really good handle on your LDR. Brandon and I make a point of having weekly Facetime dates and talk as much as we can but we've learnt that what works best (and keeps us sane) is to not pine after each other. We don't complain about the distance to each other or go on about the negatives (wish you were here, I feel lonely etc) because it just makes the other feel guilty. We have a reason for being apart right now and it just makes us make the most of the time we are together and I truly believe we value each other more because of it. So hang in there! You're doing great :)

Nadine Lynn said...

Hahahah that snap chat is awesome!

My husband and I had a long distance relationship in the beginning and it was hard, but worth it in the end! I think it made us a stronger couple.

Amy Fashion Blog said...

LDR can't be hard one. You guys are doing a great job at it. Plus its going you got some me time.

P!nky said...

Props to you for doing the long distance thing. I don't like when my husband is gone for a week. I'm gad you started to have some you time, it's important and fun. Especially those pedicures!

THat picture is hilarious!

Kay R. said...

So cute! LDR can be hard but looks like you two are champs at it :) Also .. That pic is awesome haha

Melissa Suggitt said...

aw i love this. im so happy that YOU'RE happy lady <3

Amanda - Voyage of the MeeMee said...

Good for you girl, you GET DEM TOES DID!