When I was announcing my road trip to see my brother this weekend I mentioned that one of my best and favorite party tricks was a Friday Night Nap.
While that's very true, I also noticed over the weekend that I am full of aforementioned party tricks.
They come by the dozens, really. From my witty remarks to my flexibility - if you ever have the pleasure of going out with me in person you'll get to see this side of me. You'll especially get to see this if you're a stranger that I just met at a bar and want you to think I'm the coolest...thing...ever.
Some of these are embarrassing so they're making it into confessions - but when I've thrown a few beers back I am convinced that these are things that you MUST know about me and OHGAWDMUST know that I can do.
1. I Regulate
My one and only karaoke song is this. I learned it a long time ago and can do the whole thing without seeing the words - which is why I love to perform it in front a crowd of unsuspecting bystanders who get all jazzed about this tall white girl rapping one of the classics from the 90's. Then when they find out that I can hook a left on 2-1 and Lewis without hesitation? Well, they lose their minds. Then when I can do it in a setting without any music? Boom - I'm the instant coolest.
2. I ZYX
What's that even mean? No, not examine your zipper (unless I really like you!) It means I show off by saying the alphabet backwards.
First time slowly, so that it looks like I am really trying, not just memorized.
z - y - x- w - v - u - t - s - r - q - p - o - n - m - l - k - j - i - h - g - f - e - d - c - b - a
Then, when your jaws drop over that, I hit you with it backwards faster than I could even do it forward!
zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba
I learned this one when I used to try to log on to AOL to play Disney games. Don't you dare ever say Dial-Up wasn't good for something!
3. I Backbend
I backbend or do something athletic - like push-ups or show off my pitching routine from the college days. Yes, sometimes I'll even flex the guns if I'm really trying to show off but you guys get to see that on instagram daily.
In person, I go even deeper into this on my forearms but when I do it as a party trick it's gross because I'm hands, forearms or face on some soggy bar floor. Winner.
What about you, do you have any party tricks like these? Or are you a normal human being when meeting other normal human beings for the first time?
Here's some useful party tricks you can actually learn and here's a super-sweet lady you can link up with each and every Wednesday for confessions.
