Confessing: Can't Nail It

There's a boat that I missed when I was younger that makes me feel like I missed an essential part of learning how to be a woman. 

Through sports and studying and tomboy behaviors, I never cared to paint my nails, or care for my nails, or worry about my nails. My only concern was not feeling the dirt from the softball field caked up underneath them. And that was really only 30% of the time.

Since becoming and adult and trying to at least appear more feminine, I do conscious things like wear my hair down every day, don't wear athletic apparel to work even though I work for an athletic company, do my makeup before leaving the house and shave my legs more than most females probably do. 

One feminine thing I haven't yet adopted for myself is Nailing It. 

And by nailing it I mean the art of the self-manicure. 

It's spring and you ladies keep talking about your favorite polish colors. You give these amazing tutorials about how easy it is, what tools you need, what colors are so hot right now and all the reasons why doing your nails makes you feel relaxed, confident, even accomplished! 

Like this, look at how pretty and whimsical MacKensie made nails. 

Essie this, Essie that. Here's how, look it's so damn easy and you're a talentless shaky-handed nub if you can't do something this simple/petite/pretty. 

It's awesome and beautiful, but I suck at it. 

I've followed your tips and I've done all the tricks and I have all the pretty colors, but when if gets down to the application I'm the worst! Buff, file, base coat, two coats, top coat. I do it all and somewhere in between coat #1, coat #2 and the final everything-is-finally-dry stage I screw something up. I smudge, I over-apply, I get polish on my skin, I try to fix it and in the process I mess up another nail. 

Is life really this hard or am I just beyond help?

One last question, are you confessing anything with Melissa today?

Humpday Confessions #6

Yes, yes, yes, yes - yes! 

My favorite day is here and it's going to be a good one. Today is my busiest work day of the month and I don't even care. I have to give major thanks to shark week for finally getting off of the first-of-the-month cycle because it always added a lot of extra stress to my busy week. 

Enough chatter about the punctuation mark that ends a sentence, you came here to read my confessions for the week. You're lucky, there's some good ones.

+ I secretly loved all of the compliments on yesterday's beauty post I tried to write as both a review for influenster and a joke. I was even more thrilled to hear several other ladies (1, 2, #3 is a secret still) pursuing their own passion in beauty. Can't wait to subscribe to all of the YouTube channels and learn tips from the professionals!

+ I finally watched Frozen. Alone. On a Friday night. And fell asleep during the climactic ending. Then re-watched the ending half-awake. But I liked it! Got something to say about it?

+ In my hip hop dance class, THIS SONG is my jam. Yesterday I literally rode around the room through all of the other sweaty ladies on my imaginary pony when it started because the teacher hadn't played it in two consecutive classes. I thought it said "Shake that thick chocolate" at the chorus and even though it doesn't, I still sing it that way. Gawd I love it. Dance party much?

+ I am ready to reveal something pretty exciting tomorrow that was incubated and born this week in just one day. I'm having a tough time being patient with this and have been working like crazy to get everything ready. I guess this was a pretty bad confession, wasn't it? Okay here's a sneak peek for those of you who are reading. Can't wait to reveal tomorrow! 

+ Have I done enough to distract you today? Good! My work is done here.

Keep spilling your dirt, I can't wait to read!

Linking up with my favorite kick-in-the-pants: Vodka and Soda

A Lipstick Review + Selfie Bomb

I think I want to become a beauty blogger, you guys. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I know you haven't seen anything beauty related from me, I'd like to take this leap of faith here and now. Go ahead and unfollow if looking fabulous isn't your jam, I'll understand.

Also, April Fools! But seriously, enjoy this lipstick review post, I promise I'll remain entertaining and informative.

There's three types of women in my book:

Women who can wear lipstick.

Women who can't.

annnnnd women who think they can. 

I've personally never known which category I fall into, yet I still have no fear in wearing lipstick.

Whether I'm headed into an important meeting at work or I'm leaving my house for a date, I often spray a bit of perfume and swipe a little color onto my lips. It draws attention to my smile, which is one of my favorite features, and gives me a little boost of confidence that I'm not always able to explain. 

In all seriousness, this post is a dream for me because I'm allowed to take as many shameless selfies for the purposes of the "review". You know how much I love selfies, don't you?

Let's take a walk through the selfie-vom below.

So I received a VoxBox from Influenster for testing purposes, and it's my civic duty to blog about it. The lipstick that me and a few other lucky testers received is Rimmel's Moisture Renew in the "dazzling duchess collection". Fancy aren't we?

When I opened the box I saw a color brighter than I'd ever seen before, and was honestly a bit intimidated. I wasn't sure if conservative touch-of-pink me could go all out with "As You Want Victoria". But alas, I did it for my country and I'm here to show you guys.

This is my face without lipstick on, giving my best "oh yes this eye-liner is all natural" gaze.



Ah, here's the scary part! I decided to blot it onto my bottom lip only, just to sample the color and use it almost as a stain rather than a coat of lipstick. Dab, dab, dab, pucker-up, smooth those lips together and finish off the stain with your finger to make sure you didn't miss any places.

Success! Now it's time to take all the selfies with all of the awkward faces until I get one I like. When I don't get one that I absolutely love, I post a sampling of all the magic that went on my camera roll to mask how awkward this all really was. I'm a natural.

In all seriousness, I loved how long the color stayed on my lips and I did notice the moisturizing benefits as the name 'moisture renew' suggests. I likely wouldn't have chosen this bold of a color off the shelf, but now that I've tried it the sky's the limit, right?

Here's one last look at the first time I tried it on for date night. While it's beautiful, I think I liked the blotting method I applied above better don't you? {Hey red dress I originally bought for another boy!}

So what do you guys think? Lipstick is sexy as long as it doesn't cause MLA, right?

I received this item complimentary for testing purposes from Influenster. Images and opinions are my own.

"Moisture Renew Lipstick is made with 3 super Moisturisers. Lips feel up to 70% more hydrated and up to 60% smoother! SPF 20, Vitamins A, C and E for protected lips." - RimmelLondonUS

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase. 

Don't let that gif offend you, Timon doesn't mean any harm and neither do I.

I invite you to participate in some real-talk for the next four minutes if you care to join me.

February 1st will always be the anniversary of the day I entered adulthood. I'm 26 years old and I have a lot of life, living and learning to do - but February 1, 2014 marks a beginning of gaining perspective, empathy, self-respect, courage, love, honesty, resilience and a hell of a lot of grit.

The past year of my life has been upside-down for so many reasons. My career, my relationships, my friendships, my thoughts, my actions, my dreams and my perception. I look back and the person I see isn't the person I am. The person I see is wounded, faced adversity, hurt others, overlooked reality and lost the value of believing I am more than just good enough. I do not see myself as a victim, but do admit to my inexperience in matters of the heart.

I've set no deadline for the healing that I need to go through as I can't foresee the work and time it will take to build my confidence, strength and trust back up. I'm inexpressibly thankful for the wonderful people around me who can help me rebuild. I want to take time to mend my heart and do my best to mend the hearts of others.

Everything that became so clear to me this weekend brought out so many emotions that I didn't know how to manage them in my fragile and open heart. Through love and friendship and the healing power of golden retriever puppies I've come out on the other side thankful for all of the positive energy in my world.

Because, hell.

I deserve to have dreams. 

I deserve to write my own story. 

I deserve to build my own foundation. 

I deserve to have a voice. 

I deserve love without reservation.

I deserve honesty.
I deserve to choose who shares my world.
I deserve to have a beautiful life.

I have a beautiful life. 

This weekend I spent a few days with my amazing parents who love me unconditionally. I made it to a place in the relationship with my parents that we've never been to before. I removed literally half of my Facebook friends (for various reasons or no reason at all). I went through the pain-in-the-ass exercise of blocking people on Instagram that don't need to know about me. I deleted about 1,000 photos from my iPhone camera roll to remove what doesn't need to live there anymore and also all the sriracha photos for those who know about my fiery addiction. I removed apps that I no longer use and did my best to erase memories that will hold me back from being the confident, strong, self-respecting woman I know I am.

I cleaned my closet and it felt amazing.

This post was written for me. It's one that I will read over and over to remind myself of the way I feel and the person I want to be, but I hope that it's for you too. You deserve everything you've ever dreamed of.

Life is wonderful. Hakuna Matata.