Here, Lately

It's been a minute since I showed up around here, but just believe that means I've been settling into the new year with a better me and a better plan for the future. With lists and goals and memories, oh my! 

Actually...

A week in excruciating pain from an abscessed molar, scary same-day emergency doctor visits in the wrong part of town because I'm still a little green around here, medication after medication to stop the pain, screaming myself awake in the middle of the night with a supportive boyfriend who helped through it all, a real appointment in a better neighborhood for the root canal, a full-body tremor reaction to the local anesthetic with epinephrine at the better neighborhood better dentist, some stressful memory (loss?) moments from the prescription medications, relief post-op, recurring pain after medication ran out, still a supportive and loving boyfriend through it all. 

A deep dive into IIFYM with a pro who's been doing it for a year now. Tracking the macronutrients of my food intake and balancing the good proteins, the good carbs and the good fats all together in a pretty puzzle. Finally understanding the importance of knowing 2oz and 4oz servings of meat. Learning patience in the precision of measuring in tablespoons, cups and grams. Giving Men's Health & Fitness magazines a try after growing tired of the ads found in the female versions worth the same money. Seeing those men's issues full of helpful tips, science-backed data, professionals and little fodder over 'what to wear to impress the guys' makes me wonder why I didn't think of this sooner.

A change in plans with what the future holds for our living situation, meaning thinking 5-10 years into the future rather than the 1-3 we've been visualizing. All the while trying the very hardest to focus on the right here, right now. The tender mornings, the blurred nights. A realtor! Mortgage talk! Have the will to remodel or rather move in for a little more money. Or go nuts and move into this house that would truly have me giggling every day at the trippy floors and YES rooms. Those walls have stories to tell, I'd love to live there and would convince my guy if it was closer within our price range. 

So that's what I've been up to. I suppose these are confessions worthy of a share with Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... ???

This is How We Rung in the New Year

It's a little comical how we spent the first hours of 2016. It's fit to be my first confession post of the new year and I hope you enjoy.

We had no plans of how we were going to ring in the new year leading up to it. Did we need to go buy a few bottles of wine or did I need to go find a new party dress? Did we want to drive and be out on the town dancing like last year, or did we just want to spend it looking into each other's eyes like the year before?

We chose staying in with two bottles of wine, college football and some board games. We even shared a *toast*.

The funny thing about our night is that we stressed over what we were going to make for dinner as our last meal of such a momentous year. With nothing that was so perfect, we finally decided to prepare a batch of hamburger helper. You know, in case we drank too much and needed sustenance for the wee hours of the morning. It turns out that was a perfect last meal of the year, and possibly a tradition was born.

The hours from midnight turned into minutes from midnight as we played board games, laughed, dreamed and competed.

Midnight struck with the kiss, the look, the promise, the text messages from family and friends and then that strange feeling to do something spectacular with this gift of a new year. We were having a great time playing board games and card games but once the new year hit, we took a blast to the past as he showed me some of his tried and true college drinking games that I'd never seen before.

I saw him get a cartoon-grade thought lightbulb and all of a sudden we were pulling twelve beers out of the fridge for his next grand idea.

Power Hour.

Yes, the kind you might have played in college and never really made it through successfully. At least I couldn't. If you're ever in the market for such an activity, YouTube has a delightful collection of power hours. Music decades, music genres, comedy scenes, retro TV, anything. We chose a comedy sequence and had some laughs with old favorites, coached each other through with encouragement like,  "no  you're too far ahead" or "no you still owe one!!!" 

We capped off the night on our small apartment balcony with me in my shortest shorts in 30-degree weather, him with as many layers as he could put on, a heat dish, two cigars and 90's power hour music coming from inside of the apartment. Conversation, elation, care and plans for the new year ahead of us.

It was a night I'll never forget despite all of the things that I may not remember. But it was the way we started the year and I guess you can say that we can only go up from there!

Linking up for confessions with Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... ???

Confessing Before Christmas

Santa knows if I've been Naughty or Nice this year, but confessing over the blog seems appropriate before Christmas morning. In case he can't find a way to get into the apartment, I want you to send me a lump of coal this year instead.

In reality, I've been a really good girl in 2015. I might have made some really adult decisions in the process by quitting my job, moving to follow my heart and becoming re-employed by the same company a few months later, but overall 'good' in a sense that my conscience can be proud of. I don't have my 2016 resolutions clearly defined, but I know that communicating with friends and family more often will keep my soul filled while we wait out the warmer Spring and Summer months ahead. 

I've been getting into the holiday spirit a little more this year now that we've got a real tree, parties to attend and traditions to create together. I've even been pulling a few tricks out of my back pocket that haven't seen the light of day in years... or ever. Like these paint sample gift tags. They've been patiently hiding on my pinterest boards for years and I finally got the urge to shamelessly grab samples from the Lowe's paint center just like I would grab the taquitos at Costco and cut them into these uniformly elegant ombre trees.

My latest instagram photos have been majorly filtered but also majorly well-lit. Has anyone noticed that I've posted much more lately, and the photos look a little more instagram professional? It's because after 5 and a half months of living in a yellow-lighting apartment and a yellow-lighting work environment I've found my natural lighting sanctuary. It's not pretty and requires props like bath towels, hand towels and blankets, but it creates a photo that shows just enough of my filtered life to make it to the Internet.

I already know a few of my Christmas gifts thanks to Amazon's 5 emails per item ordered and a few text messages included in there too. One was even spoiled because he didn't thnk the Amazon box was his since it was ordered from Ebay, but turns out I unboxed my own gift and had to place it under the tree like I never noticed. Next year, or at least next gift-giving holiday, we're going to have to figure out a solution for household Amazon-sharing protocol, including putting nicknames on the packages so we really know which package belongs to which giver.

That's all I can write today, looking forward to seeing what you're confessing! 

Linking up with Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... ???

Confessions About Nothing

While this is without a doubt the busiest season of the year for everyone, it's also now a record-setting month of blogs posted since I've relocated to Tennessee. What do I have to thank for my more frequent appearances here? That lovely 25-minute time-harnesser called the Pomodoro Technique that Alyssa shared with us on the very first day of December. It's helped me with work, workouts, blogging, reading, Christmas-ing and cleaning. Has it helped you with any of your daily must-do's?

While you're pondering what can be improved in your life by segmenting it into chewable 25-minute increments, take four minutes to be amused by this week's confessions about nothing.

:: "Confessions about nothing"? Well, we've been filling up our DVR with the TBS reruns of Seinfeld and have been binge-watching this "show about nothing" for a month. There's still over 140 episodes remaining on our watchlist. Meanwhile, we're left unable to record anything else but with a reward at the end. Now I can finally play the Seinfeld trivia game that's collecting dust in our coat closet.

:: Southern confession. I don't exactly understand these wildly adorned Christmas trees and can't say that I'll ever decorate a tree like they do down here. If you're unfamiliar, they look like this and not like the trees I've grown up with my whole life. Some even have woodland creatures peeking out from the... branches... ribbons...? I don't know.

source

:: Monday I pinned this to my Wedding board and freaked. There's no ring nor wedding bells in sight, but as a girl who pins things for future events including weddings and children I've made it a secret board to avoid any social media fueled speculations about either aforementioned life-event.  

:: Instagram unfollowers, I see you. Does anyone else have an app that tracks your unfollowers? It was a long-time mystery to me when the followers category would fluctuate, but now I see that it's those Portland fitness studios who don't see my face anymore and those obvious spammers that were never a real account anyway. But, it does make me a little sad when I see that my own extended family dropped my name off their list after scrolling by a cute puppy photo. sigh.

Have any confessions for us this week?

Link up all over blog-land:  Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... ???

Hello, Pomodoro Mood

I've put myself in this confessions-only blogger rut a few times in my writing past, but it's always what seems to spark some inspiration and give you a real look into what's going on in my world these days. 

What really sparked this post today was the consistent magic offered by Alyssa in her productivity post titled "How to Actually Get Sh*t Done". The first point about the Pomodoro Technique made me a master of my time after just one use. The "distraction pad" is the cure my wandering attention tendencies while her remarks about being in the mood help to prioritize. 

I've Pomodoro'd four times since reading that productivity post and I've found a new thing to get addicted to. Fun to say, easy to do once distractions are removed and highly transferable to any activity. Think work, cleaning, sweating, intimacy, morning routine. It's all yours. 

This was blogged while pomodoro-ing and listening to a 25-minute playlist I created with multiple versions of "Hello". Mainly because I can't decide if I really like the song, the words, the vibe or if the lyrics could easily be replaced with a ballad about me apologizing to my thighs for the decisions I made in November with food and exercise.  At least I can say that I tried. 

Let the confessions begin. 

:: Cyber Monday was really just selfish Monday where I bought one real Christmas gift, two pairs of booties, a Living Social deal I can use at some point over the next four years, and a ton of Old Navy goodness because sitewide was 50% off with a few other redemption codes I'd been saving up for my next big buy. 

:: Cyber Monday was also a little light on the gift side because the guy found the perfect way to treat each other that we're going to have to be patient about. The paradise all-inclusive sun-soaked adults-only resort vacation is booked and paid for, but it's not until mid-June of 2016! I'm so eager that I already tried to request vacation days at work, but it's systematically too far in advance. We've been chatting about a trip in the Spring with the family, too.

:: The big surprise of the week was when we retrieved actual mail from our overflowing mailbox and found two perfectly timely birthday cards with sweet greetings and wishes for my 28th year on this planet. Both greetings were from women I met over the Internet, a fact I enjoy sharing with anyone who doesn't need to know. A text to each and some social media real estate served as my apologies, but I'll continue to make up for it with some adorable holiday cards of my own that will be mailed this week.

:: This weekend my guy finally got a taste of what it's like for a girl to walk into Target during the holidays. We got in, got exactly what we needed and then I informed him that I needed to look around a little more. We avoided the clothes and shoes, but there was a point where I had to send his hovering-self away to do his own thing while I browsed the holiday decor and picked up soup ingredients. Do your men understand what it's like to walk into Target with a basket to fill?

And this. 

Adele. When you're ghosted, you're ghosted. Or I suppose if you were the ghost then you stick with it, girl. 

Hello?

Linking all over the internet: Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... ???

And Now I'm 28.

Then all at once it's late November. It's cold, it's dark and boots are in full rotation.

We've been apart since October, so can we catch up on some housekeeping before jumping right into confessions and likely my only post of November?

This month I turned 28 years young. My parents joined us for nine nights to see what this new life is all about. We had a great time sharing the sights, the food and the music all while keeping them away from the eye-sores. We've celebrated three birthdays and had way too much sugar. I've been a lackluster participant in the #PluckytoNothin instagram challenge and I'm about to experience my first Thanksgiving in the South away from home. Not only will I miss the traditions of home - like morning drinking and pajamas all day - but I'm scheduled to bring a dish that's going to serve as more of a first impression to the unknown family members than my handshake or hello ever will. 

The part you've waited for, the confessions:

+ The boyfriend made this photo his Facebook profile yesterday and I got dramatic. Not dramatic-happy, but dramatic-blah. I pulled up Excel and did the math on how many days we've known each other and geez, thanks for the FIRST acknowledgement of my face in your life after 841 days. He politely reminded me that he's not active on social media, and this post was his monumental drop-the-balloons-from-the-ceiling-because-you're-a-winner 10th post between Facebook and Instagram combined in those same 841 days. We counted. So, I'm silly and he's forgiven my 3 minute challenge of his public display of love for me. He flew all the way to Portland to meet The Snooks for this one.

+ I loved a custom Christmas gift so much that I let my guy open it... 35 days early.
+ There's been no great sweat in 13 days for a few reasons, yet mostly excuses.
+ However, there's also been no break in a personal relationship-goals streak of 72 days.
+ I'm tossing around the idea of running a race in 2016 just to meet this lady.
+ Recently I posted a photo to instagram that's a few years old and passed it off as a "Happy Friday".
+ After searching many stores, we bought 6lbs of Sun Dried Tomatoes from Nuts.com. Worth it.

That's all and still not enough. Expect something more robust about the visit from my parents because we know that deserves a mention here on the internet. There's so many places where we can confess in blog-land so I'm being generous and linking up everywhere I can. If I find a new one while I'm poking around the internet today, I'll add it here or you can let me know in the comments.  

Wish me luck this Thanksgiving and each holiday after that!

As promised, linking up with Kathy, Nadine, Sarah, Laura, Lauren, Alanna and .... you tell me!

Confessions

I couldn't tell you the last time I sat at home - sweats, glasses, coffee - and started writing. Especially in the morning on a work day. This luxury has been brought by second-day hair, by a lunch that was already prepped, by an outfit that was already chosen and by a little Wednesday tradition that's resurfaced in blog world thanks to this sweet almost newlywed.

I confess:

I'm trying to make boots and scarves happen in Tenessee even though highs are still hitting the 80's occasionally. Including today. 

I have to un-sexy my traditional Oktoberfest outfit for a 10 year-old's costume Birthday party we're attending this weekend. Help?

Speaking of un-sexy, I have to hand over a urine sample to a stranger this afternoon as a next step toward full-time employment.

As guests of a beautiful wedding, we made a few innocent prop bets on some of the bride and groom's behaviors. From "will she cry walking down the aisle" to "will cake be smeared in faces", there were no boundaries.

I have 3 photos from the weekend in Portland, none of which involve my golden sisters, Trader Joe's or the wedding.

There are so many cool things to do in my new city that I want to check out for myself, but won't sacrifice my favorite after-work ritual or the wonderful gym dates we've come to enjoy.

Thanks for the visit, see you soon!

Where'd You Go, Jessi?

Even though I've been publishing since 2012, I still don't have a great understanding of the disappearing act I put you through. 

Blog breaks are usually prefaced, planned, communicated. You're all polite enough to give warning ahead of time, allow proper goodbyes and give some type of indication why you're not going to be writing or reading for a specific range of time. 

My blog breaks are nothing like that. Mine are spontaneous, immediate and often unexplainable. Full of carbs, adventures, surprises and living. Those nights. That song. 

This act may seem like a sign of hiding, depression, loneliness, introversion or discouragement. Not the case at all. My breaks are a sign of having too much to share, too much to be excited about, too much to post, too much good.

There's actually no such thing as "too much good" but I'm trying to explain the side-eye-smirky feeling. 

Let me present the facts of life of the last twenty days.

:: Boarded 7 unique planes, only seated in the middle twice.

:: Been in six states.

:: Attended one wedding. 

:: Attended two sporting events (one with beer for sale, one with dogs to pet).

:: Drove my car only 8 days.

:: Kissed a boy. A few times. 

:: Also helped paint his toenails while he was asleep.

:: Read: The Opposite of Loneliness, Where'd You Go, Bernadette

:: Bought: This One is Mine

:: Listening: Bossypants

:: Ate clam chowder in Boston and drank mimosas "in the Mission".

:: Okay, a lot of mimosas in the mission with MacKensie.

:: Was driving a car solo when it broke down on me at 1am.

:: Took one shower in Oakland, CA and one shower in Warwick, RI. 

:: Baked chocolate chip cookies.

:: Learned San Francisco is cold and should not be shocked at the absence of palm trees. 

:: Was called up on stage to lead a song in my Pound! Workout class. 

Literally this stage -->

:: Taken only five workout classes and currently scheduling more aggressively.

:: Posted five instagram photos.

:: Put together three pieces of large furniture with only an allen wrench.

:: My nails have been painted all but a few hours (mostly Essie Fiji)

:: Discovered chia seeds.

:: Changed my job, manager and desk location.

:: Took 25,000 steps in a single day.

:: Slept through one book club.

:: Was picked up at the Portland Airport twice by my golden sisters.

This was actual life. Feels like I should go out and live it some more.

Confessing with Melissa today!

Confessing: Can't Nail It

There's a boat that I missed when I was younger that makes me feel like I missed an essential part of learning how to be a woman. 

Through sports and studying and tomboy behaviors, I never cared to paint my nails, or care for my nails, or worry about my nails. My only concern was not feeling the dirt from the softball field caked up underneath them. And that was really only 30% of the time.

Since becoming and adult and trying to at least appear more feminine, I do conscious things like wear my hair down every day, don't wear athletic apparel to work even though I work for an athletic company, do my makeup before leaving the house and shave my legs more than most females probably do. 

One feminine thing I haven't yet adopted for myself is Nailing It. 

And by nailing it I mean the art of the self-manicure. 

It's spring and you ladies keep talking about your favorite polish colors. You give these amazing tutorials about how easy it is, what tools you need, what colors are so hot right now and all the reasons why doing your nails makes you feel relaxed, confident, even accomplished! 

Like this, look at how pretty and whimsical MacKensie made nails. 

Essie this, Essie that. Here's how, look it's so damn easy and you're a talentless shaky-handed nub if you can't do something this simple/petite/pretty. 

It's awesome and beautiful, but I suck at it. 

I've followed your tips and I've done all the tricks and I have all the pretty colors, but when if gets down to the application I'm the worst! Buff, file, base coat, two coats, top coat. I do it all and somewhere in between coat #1, coat #2 and the final everything-is-finally-dry stage I screw something up. I smudge, I over-apply, I get polish on my skin, I try to fix it and in the process I mess up another nail. 

Is life really this hard or am I just beyond help?

One last question, are you confessing anything with Melissa today?

Inspired Confessions

I could have come to you today with the boring and #basic confessions like "agh! I already bought two bags of Easter jelly beans!" or "I didn't even want to go out last night for St. Patrick's day, and also because I don't have friends".

Those are fun confessions, but predictable. 

Rather, all of my confessions today are inspired by articles I saw on Thought Catalog yesterday. I am not this clever or creative myself, but can at least link you back to the article that inspired the confession. Are we okay with that? Cool!

Make sure you're linking up with Melissa when you join the party!

:: Last week I confessed that I joined and dropped a dating website/app that just wasn't for me. I can confess that is wasn't MissTravel, which is apparently a website that allows the "Generous" and the "Attractive" to find each other and travel together. One has the money and means to do it, but nobody to travel with. One has great looks and I'm assuming no job? (article here)

:: Never have I ever cleaned a makeup brush. I've cleaned paint brushes and hair brushes, but never makeup. That's possibly because I buy from Target's Elf collection and if they get gross or broken or tired, I go buy another for $2.99 and spend another $50 on things I desperately don't need. Shame me, please. (article here)

:: My real-life dating disasters have included a former wrestler who just wanted to put me in wrestling holds without wanting anything else, a guy that perspired the entire time during our dinner date... yet never ordered food and another guy who got a second date but decided that we were "getting too serious" because we held hands in a theater and I texted to make sure he got home safely? Sure there's more but that was enough for today. (article here)

:: My favorite holiday of all isn't actually a "holiday". It's April Fools! The meanest thing I have ever done was to stage a fake breakup with a former boyfriend, getting upset over something I was actually upset over, but taking it way overboard. I took what I could from his house, swore that I would come back and get the rest 'another day' and while I was out I went to a coffee shop for a few hours to read the Hunger Games in peace. That's how long ago this was. I've realized more recently that games like this aren't appropriate 'April Fools' territory. However, some of these are fun. (article here)

Okay, that was fun. Also oddly very "dating" related.

What are you confessing today??

Oh Hey, Let's Confess!

Good morning and welcome back to me who has been absent from social media land for 5 days. 

By now you should know that I can be pretty good at disconnecting from the internet when I want to. As much of a WiFi, instagram, blogging etc etc etc junkie I come across as being, I'm my happiest when I'm disconnected from the iPhone and general internet noise.

Yes, I could have continued on with my quiet vibes for another few days but I didn't want to miss the fun of Wednesday Confessions with my dearest friend Melissa. Are you playing along?

Confessions!

:: My FitBit says I took 198 steps last week. This isn't a confession of non-activity,  but more of an admission that I wore my FitBit band without the FitBit sensor inside of it. So, all fashion - no function looks like a lazy Jessi. 

:: I joined a dating website (or app, whatever) during a girl's night a week back and it's terrifying. Nope, still not for me. In hindsight, it wasn't as bad as the last time I tried the same path. Maybe I'll tell you that story sometime. 

:: I am booking travel plans all over the place. You don't need to know where just yet, but the next few weekends look pretty wonderfully packed with girl-time, Easter and a Wedding. Crazy-great feels all around!!

:: Part of "disconnecting" included completing Season 3 of House of Cards. This season was much different than the last two and now I'm holding out on TV binges until Game of Thrones come back on. The next two weeks will be focused on this read.

:: I am long overdue for a hair appointment. My two-times-per-year cut and color falls around the same timing of Daylight Saving Time but this Spring I haven't even scheduled. What's that word we say here, woof?

:: I've also lost the care to add a photo today. I'm sorry, kind of?

Hope you guys are having a great week!

My Single Girl Behaviors

I've always loved the idea of this post.

I wavered on whether I'd give it a better title like, "This is Why I'm Single" or "Forever Alone", but at the end of the day I thought I could confess some of my single girl behaviors with my main squeeze Melissa.

Do you guys want to play along with confessions? Link up every Wednesday and don't be shy!

What are Single Girl Behaviors?

Well, you don't exactly have to be single to have them. These are the things we do as women when we're alone that we don't really want anyone else to know about. They're things that we wouldn't dare do in the first few months of dating a dude and definitely not parts of us we'd "show off" until the second year of marriage...ha!

Maybe our families know about these weird quirks of ours but somehow they only come up in conversation when we're getting together with family members we only see once every two years. Then we fear that that's the only thing Aunt Mildred took away from seeing us is that ONE TIME we forgot to close the blinds before doing naked yoga in the living room and the terrifying image that she and those poor neighbors were left with.

Okay, so I don't have an Aunt Mildred and I much prefer naked twister, but that's neither here nor there. These are a few of my Single Girl Behaviors.

:: When I walk into the house after work, shoes off + pants off = love.
:: I enjoy using tiny utensils for everyday eats.
:: I drink straight out of the vanilla almond milk carton.
:: The dishwasher is only relevant when I've run out of skillets or tiny utensils.
:: Hallway twerk parties happen daily. You know the hallway, it's where I take all the selfies.

:: The only photos of me are selfies because I have no friends.
:: I play Clash of Clans. I think I've even tweeted about it. Read line above.
:: Laundry, unless my favorite workout clothes, can be "in the laundry" for weeks.

And now for some numbers because I'm a data nerd if you forgot. 

:: 92% - time spent in my bedroom while at home.
:: Average pairs of shoes scattered around the house: 5
:: Grocery store trips per week: 3 - 5
:: Times Mailbox is checked per week: 1 - 3
:: Peanut Butter Jar opened per week: 4 - 6
:: Alarms set per day: 8
:: Alarms snoozed per day: 8
:: Self-manicures per year: 5 (but Amanda gave this tutorial so expect more!)

What about you, do you have Single Girl Behaviors?

You don't have to be "single" to share, but you would be missing out if you're not confessing with Melissa - it's for your health, darling!

Get Your Confessions Here

I love Wednesdays around here because it's just an easy-going, no rules, no guidelines kind of day.

If you've never confessed I suggest you give it a try - get it off your chest and make us giggle or say "what the..!?"

:: This week I "cleaned up" my instagram - meaning I took down some of the past why-the-heck-did-i-think-that-was-a-shareable junk, got rid of that aggressive phase where I put text and arrows and overlays on every...single....photo - and just took a cut at some of the unnecessary I had out in the universe. Things look a little prettier now and still show how far I've come on my instagram game. I was also surprised to find that I have more followers now than following. Win?

:: A serious life-goal is to get a good selfie mirror. Oh yes, it will be mine. 

:: I hear the song "Truffle Butter" at least 6 times per day. When I say "hear" I mean "play". Like, on purpose. Don't google that, it's disgusting. 

:: I almost was going to skip heading up to see my brother this weekend because I was sad about the ClassPass opportunities I was going to miss. Then amazingly realized that I have the "Flex" option, meaning that I can bounce city-to-city with no extra wear and tear!

:: Speaking of ClassPass - yes I'm still obsessed. I've gone to five classes in my four days of ownership with another fun barre class + event this evening. It's like I'm finally in the cool club where you get to go to seven-course meals and be a socialite... except you're sweaty and in your leggings. 

:: This is embarrassing, but all this time I've thought that Montell Jordan and Montel Williams were the same guy... even though the name is spelled differently and occupation is very different. I can't even explain my way out of this one and I'm sorry. How did I realize they weren't the same? I heard "This is How We Do It" and said, "ha-ha, do you remember when this guy used to be a rapper before his talk show?". I felt like one of those people who thought Missy Elliot was new to the scene. 

 That's it, I'm out. Go find Melissa and play along!

Netflix, Will You be My Valentine?

Ladies and gentlemen, back at it for the third day in a row and we're here for the best day of all the days. Hump day confessions! Thanks again Melissa for bringing this back to life after a short down-time. I know it's not easy to host a link up but you're doing it good, right and handsomely. 

:: Let's start with confession the hands-down best part of my weekdays. Brooke (formerly known as Babbling Brookelyn) sends me a snapchat of her amazing instagram animals calendar that Mr. Guy got her and it's the best. It's a daily feature of some insta-famous animal account with their user name included so you can go see the rest of the page. I'm starting to notice my recent follows are animals, not people... and I'm okay with this. 

Meet @RustyRodas (from Portland!)

:: Getting "back into blogging" has been hard. What do we talk about? internet things? beauty things? life things? fitness things? recipe things? embarrassing things? uplifting things? travel things? terrifying things? I guess whatever I want but there's a block. Maybe it also comes from not seeing all the familiar faces around because I abandoned this world for a bit while I selfishly (my least favorite kind of fish) took a little write-only-read-never break. sorry?

:: Do you remember dance class Jessi? She is obnoxious, she is animated, she is wild and boy does she love a good rump shaker. I've been committing to my dance class lately and while I've forgotten a ton of the moves I'm still up for turning down... but for what? See what I did there? Don't believe me? This is from my dance class partner in crime. She really is always grabbing my butt and I'm always presenting it to her for grabbing. It's just so round and so.... out there. 

:: My Valentine this year is Netflix. That's right, you can't have him. Actually I'm taking it solo and going to get all luvo on myself this Saturday. That means doing all the treat-yo'self things like a good workout, mani/pedi, definitely some wine and hopefully making my skype date with Melissa happen. But I'm serious on Netflix. Any recommendations?

And that's what I've got today - find me something good on Netflix please? Love/romance related not required. 

Go confess all with Melissa!

My Trophies

Can I be a Wednesday only blogger?

Meaning one big bang of confessions with Melissa and all my greatest blog friends, where the mood would always be light, there'd be no subtext or worry, plenty of photos, lot's of links and gaggles of gifs!

Today's confessions could go so many different directions, but I thought I'd reserve the day for my MCM (Muscle Crush Monday) photo. Haha. Dang why didn't I think of "muscle crush monday" when I posted this? The best I could come up with was Gains > MCM everything.

Not only did I get instagram love, I had office love all day long: "How did you do it?," "Where did those come from?", "I saw your guns, I'm not going to mess with you", "Are you changing up your workouts?"

to which I say, "wait you don't follow me on instagram?" ha.

Listen.

:: It's easy to photograph muscle when you're flexing.
:: Black / white filter makes the gains look deeper.
:: It was actually leg day when I took this.
:: Nutrition and hydration are the foundation, weight lifting is the cherry on top.
:: The smirk is the best part of the whole photo.
:: No, real real best part is my pretty hidden bird for anyone who doesn't think strong is beautiful.
:: After all that demystifying, yes I do actually have those muscles and I work hard for them.

The confession? I still can't do a pull up.

These arms, while aggressive in the photo above, have been a part of a bigger plan. When I only pack a tank top option for the gym I'm reminded of how far I've come. "Making" these arms has been a way to erase years of insecurities, a way to turn my insecurities into trophies, a way to change the way I feel about my entire body and a pretty great way to expand my warm weather wardrobe.

I don't want to become a body builder, I don't want to get "jacked" and I don't walk around all day with this flex game. I walk around confidently and that's what matters.

Speaking of muscles, I tuned into Miss Universe after some pretty funny live tweets (no, funny Bachelor tweets don't cause the same reaction) and was a little surprised to not see more booty, more legs, more arms, more abs. Not saying for a single second that these women weren't gorgeous, poised and of course sophisticated - but after all of the squatspo I'm exposed to I've formed a specific view of what a woman's body looks like when she "takes care of it".

Full circle - life isn't just what we see on instagram.

Yep, that's all I've got. What do you think Channing?

Missing In Action January

Well hello and Happy New Year! 

Sure it's well past the middle of January but this is my first post of 2015 so I can still get away with well wishes for the new year. 

I want to start off the new year with a thank you to my loyal readers and anonymous peekers who've been poking around JumpingJE waiting patiently for me to publish something. For what? To give up my whereabouts, to see if I'm still in a relationship since I stopped Man-Crush-Monday'ing on instagram, to see what I got for Christmas gifts? I may never know why you've been checking in so much, but felt that showing up for unconventional confessions on Wednesday would be a pretty great way to break the ice.

Let's tell a story about my adventures. 

Christmas started off with a bang - and not the magical fireworks kind of bang, but more of the what-is-going-on-with-my-life-right-now-and-how-did-I-get-here kind. We're still sorting all of those feelings out, but it's safe to say that I (once again) was the center of attention on Christmas - even though it was my brother's first time home for Christmas in 5 years. Sorry family, thanks for understanding this drama-llama world. I don't understand it but I'm happy you do. 

The only thing missing from my Christmas story was the hallway selfie mirror I've really been wishing for. Nothing that a fun new pair of leggings can't fix - I even took them out for a spin for coffee with my sweetest lady, Marisa.  

Christmas passed and I had no decorations to take down, which was pretty amazing because in no time at all I was on a plane again. This time I was headed across the country for sixteen days of work, work and more work. 

You, my friends, had no early notice on this one and neither did I! I found out about this trip on Christmas Eve and had a heck of a time deciding what to pack for two weeks away in Memphis including New Years with the guy while also trying to make a pretty awesome impression at work. Yes - boyfriend is still around despite the absence of MCM'ing about him week-in and week-out. Don't take it personally, b! 

What did I pack? Something old, something new, something borrowed and something to work out in. Okay I may have brought a few things to work out in and none of them were touched a single time. Whoops. I did bring some cozy knits and a beautiful NYE dress though! 

You may want photo evidence of my adventures but there's nada. Zip zilch nada, not even an image worth sharing from my time away because I was in the office each day for 10-14 hours kicking butt and taking names. Well there may be one photo but that's not going on my blog - it was a picture of the worst bathroom stall I've ever almost used in my life - there was no spot for a toilet paper roll... huh?! To be fair it was a new building and a new stall, but really - how is the TP roll left out of the design sketches?

I made it back home with nothing to show but a pile of laundry and a bunch of clean workout clothes. My parents were amazing as always and fixed up my house with groceries, a made bed and fresh flowers. I really don't deserve it all but someday I'll pay it forward. 

Oh don't forget the part where I completely busted my iPhone and thank my impulsive self for getting the Apple Care because now I have a shiny brand new one! 

After all of that nonsense it was this that got me through the last 25 days. A simple print I'd read a thousand times but never really understood until I needed it. Thanks mom for always giving me wisdom even when it's not intentional. 

Peace and Love and Humpday with Melissa <3

It's Almost Christmas Confessions!

Welcome back to Wednesday and Merry Christmas (eve)! 

It makes me so happy to be looking forward to an entire day off of work, knowing that it's likely one of my very last for a while. There's quite a big event on Monday that is going to likely take quite a lot of my time over the next few months. 

Since the last time I was here, the following things have happened:

- I planked in front of a crowd at my holiday work party - twice

- I photo-boothed at my holiday work party - twice

- I've sent 15+ triple-chin snapchat selfies to some lucky recipients

- I've scrambled and failed at Christmas shopping

- Succeeded with buying a selfie tripod. Worth a shot, right?

- Mom successfully delivered toys, food baskets, clothes and miracles to seven families in need.

- Seriously, it took a village ^

Now we're ready for  a few quick Christmas confessions as I watch Christmas Story over FaceTime with my handsome guy who has been working way too hard. I'd show you how hard but don't think I'm allowed to show that frazzled look on the internet. Thanks for the extra MCM love this week!

:: Here is our very sad Christmas tree. What's even sadder is that it's at my boyfriend's house across the country, is decorated with $5 worth of "ornaments" from the dollar tree and some lackluster short cord lights. The redeeming quality is a pretty sweet Bear-necessities ornament that we found at Hallmark and wouldn't leave until we were the proud owners. It seriously sings and everything - the perfect start to creating our Christmas magic. 

:: I am probably on Santa's naughty list this year, and mostly for being a jerk to my body. Workouts aren't a priority anymore, #paleo is a guideline and not a rule, more days are "off days" than I'd like to admit and my kettlebell strength is lacking. Ps did you know my mom can swing a 55lb kettlebell? My hero. 

:: I've had the same bathroom hand soap for as long as I've lived in this house. Literally the same bottle. This week as I was goofing around in the same aisle as the pumpkin spice ice cream (so basic) I found a brand new hand soap that I truly couldn't pass up. The smell was heavenly. Here are some other amazing beauty products at Trader Joe's.

:: I still don't have presents bought, wrapped or even decided. It's too late for Amazon Prime to save me now, isn't it? 

That's all - stay merry & bright! Enjoy the time with your loved ones!

Are you ready for Humpday Confessions to return in January with Melissa?

You're Welcome for these Confessions

If you wrote a confessions post today because of the news I shared yesterday, you're welcome. 

I really don't know if Melissa planned to start the link-up today or not, but I was hoping that my blog would either cause that to happen or get so much hype going around to breathe a little flame back into hump day. If there's no link-up actually live today, don't shoot the messenger... even if the messenger was also the creator and distributor of the rumor. Fact checking isn't my strong side. Hype generation might be. 

I feel so rusty about the whole thought of confessions - go easy on me today as this entire post based on facts while also an honest attempt to not ramble.

+ My poor guy has been working to the bone. 14-18 hour days in the office and on the actual hamster wheel of life. It's magical if he can leave before 10pm and it's even better if he can eat something other than Taco Bell for dinner. To add insult to injury, my #MCM photo on Monday was this, and as I type this post it only had 6 likes. Six! Including him! He's handsome, I know - but I think I've taken photos of my left thumb that had more likes. Go give him some instagram love, won't you?

+ I confess that I just realized my About Me page hasn't been updated since I first made it. It still said "I'm single and the mother of a betta fish". Well, I haven't been single since June (sorry babe) and my betta died while MaryMack was in town back in August. Pay attention, Jessi - being busy is no excuse. 

+ My daily breakfast includes a 20oz coffee, eggs and sausage patties. This runs me just under $5 at work and I can't stop, won't stop. It's gotten so good bad that me and my co-workers now sing "Nothhhing Compares 2U" by Sinead O'Connor, but rather than "2U" it's "2Sausage!!!".  Then if I'm lucky I follow it up with a bun-less cheeseburger, brussel sprouts, tots and bacon bits (heart eyed kitty emoji!)

+ I'm convinced that this high protein breakfast routine is contributing to these gainz, because since we're being honest I have hardly had time to work on my fitness in a month. Yes I feel strong and yes I feel healthy but I still can't do a pull-up. Selfie Level: Intermediate.

+ Speaking of working on my fitness, ClassPass is amazing and allowed me to defer my month pass to the new year because of the crazy work-life balance I'm unable to work around these days. I am quite thankful and also a little psyched because I saw that new studios were added in Portland this week!

That's all - I have to save some confessions for later because Hump Day is back!! Are you confessing today?

Go tell Melissa what handsome piece of man-meat should be the image here.

A Christmas Confessions Miracle!

It's a Christmas miracle! 

Remember how we used to have an amazing excuse in the middle of the work-week to publicly embarrass ourselves and just chalk it up as a "confession" for the whole internet to see? It was called Humpday Confessions and was hosted by a pretty rad chick named Kathy who has zero filter, gives two shits and is my fitness Jesus. She invited any and every blogger to confess whatever they please on their blogs, to find other bloggers who had awesome things to share and ultimately made us all come up with the most ridiculous things possible - all in the name of a good confessions post. 

Like that time I shared the photos of when I dropped trou on a trip for a roadside tinkle, or when I came out of the closet about a boy I'd been dating - some of my favorite blog memories came from my confessions posts. 

We sadly and formally lost this link-up in October, but I've seen many bloggers still confessing on Wednesdays and day by day asking for this link-up to come back. 

We can all confess in the privacy of our own blogs, but there's something magical about bloggers coming together and tilting the universe with confessions on confessions on confessions (and a lot of mentions of hump-day, hot men like Ryan Gosling and Ian So-my-hot-what and more gifs than you can imagine). 

This past week in between the madness of work and life, I heard the most amazing news. My great real-life friend Melissa will be taking the throne and wearing the crown for the new regime of Humpday Confessions. 

I'm ready, you're ready, we are all ready for confessions to be back. Hallelujah!

It's almost like that scene at the end of the Lion King where all the animals return to pride rock and rejoice over new beginnings and the promise of something good and comfortable that they know is going to be a beautiful thing. 

I could have included that gif below, but feel like this one is better:

Any guesses on which handsome hunk of man-meat Melissa will invite us to "hump the shit out of"? I think I have a good guess but you'll have to see tomorrow! 

Just Have to - Confessions

It's hurt me so badly the past two weeks to not have the confessions link-up to look forward to.

I understand Kathy's reason for letting a good thing die and fully support it - just wish that I could have a way to link up with all my eskimo sisters who are undoubtedly still sharing their awesome-crazy secrets with the blog world. 

That's right - eskimo sisters. You know you've all been up in that hump-day action. 

:: I had a dentist appointment before work this morning and it's been everything I can do the past week to floss as much as possible. I know that I'm going to tell the sweet lady at 7am that I brush 2-3x daily and floss every night before bed - but that's a lie the same way that I tell myself I'm going to work out every day this month.

:: If I'm at work past 7pm, this is likely happening. Before you judge, understand that my work takes a lot of analytical work plus a lot of creativity. It's not just the details I'm working through, it includes the art of storytelling and "painting a picture". Also, hey glasses!

:: I am spending my birthday with my guy! I head out tomorrow mid-day and get to spend four sleeps with him. This four sleeps includes a day of working remotely, a day of meeting his parents (eek, hi!) and hopefully getting thoughtful gifts like what he got me last year. Actually very practical gifts last year - a huge Excel programming book so I can be as smart as him and some dryer sheets  so I can smell as good as him (because he will forever smell like dryer sheets).

:: The birthday trip to see the guy is also a clever way to get more #ManCrushMonday photos - because ladies I have run out of things that I won't get yelled at for putting on the internet for all to see.  

:: I drank an entire bottle of wine on Sunday - just because I could. Saturday when I hit the Trader Joe's I grabbed a bottle of wine and decided that there was no better time than an evening with candles, music and red wine to get me ready for the week ahead. I can't say that it did the trick - but I suppose that's a good thing because it'll free me of the likely dependency one can get to a bottle of red wine on a Sunday night. 

:: I wrote my Monday, Tuesday and most of today's blog while drinking said red wine. The other time was spent reading Thought Catalog articles and writing a "nice to meet you soon" letter to man-friend's parents just to break the ice. P.S - do you know how difficult it is to find paper? And how difficult it is to write a letter by hand and not mess up 10,000 times? Thanks to the wine I had the patience to persevere. 

:: I really really miss the confessions link up. That's all.