TED Tuesday: How to Spot a Liar

Hello! For those who are new around here I do something called TED Tuesdays. This is a series where I find a TED video that sparks my interest and then I share with you because I love you. The videos range anywhere from 3-20 minutes and I won't share it if I don't love it. Capiche?

Today we are going to talk about lies.

We all tell lies and we all are fed lies - anywhere from 10-200 times each average day. I'm not saying this to alarm you and I honestly (ha-ha) don't have that much human interaction each day to be in the triple digits.

I admit to lying little bitsy lies all the time here on the blog. Examples of this are like how there may have been one other person on my snowy bus ride to get downtown, or how the photo above was maybe 5 minutes into my workout when I stopped to do a photo shoot - not nearly the end or worthy of the title "sweaty selfie".  I have been working on telling less "little" lies because if you're not careful you can easily become desensitized to telling them. Just last week, Helene wrote about some of her favorite white lies and the blogging world couldn't agree more.

The topic of today is around the question of whether you're able to tell when you're being lied to. Can you recognize speech patterns, body language cues, attitude, aversion to face-to-face communication?   Do you notice embellishment of an otherwise simple story, or maybe the absence of a critical detail?

Much like I'd guess your parents can, mine always know when I'm lying. My classic go-to moves are adding too much detail to my "stories" in awkward or irrelevant places. Or, sometimes I get a little too formal with the way I say things.

For example:

Lie: "Yes, I did get my oil changed last week when it was raining - the one on 39th and I had a coupon."

Truth: "Hey look who's getting their oil changed! (Insert cheesy waiting room selfie w/ bad coffee)"

Since a liar needs a believer to be successful, I'm interested in understanding this lie-spotting practice. But much more than lie-spotting I want to take a clean shot at truth seeking. And hopefully I'll learn a little something about trust building along the way!

Take it away, Pamela!

I Do Not Control the Universe

In my 26 years on this earth I've learned one solid truth many times. 

Many times? 

Yeah, I guess it's like the science facts you learned in 6th grade, the grammar from 4th grade or the calculus from high school - you forget as you age and the games get more serious.

This wicked game that I'm talking about is the fact that I do not control the universe. Nobody does. 

Why is this so hard for me to remember?

I suppose some would call me a passionate person. I get fired up about the way you should put toilet paper on the roll (over, not under...) and the way you put soap into a washing machine (on top of the clothes, before you start the water). I get extra passionate when it comes to my future, like my career or my family or the people I want in my life. I wouldn't say that I want control of my universe because let's be real, that's way too much pressure. But sometimes the uncertainty and disorder I feel gets me about as uncomfortable as having a wedgie in skinny jeans. Just kidding, I technically always have a wedgie, sorry dad.

Let's take a look at the facts.

The only things in life that I can control are my own actions, my own attitude and the way I carry myself. Check. I do not control the way people react to me. I do not control the way that events unfold in front of my eyes. Especially when these eyes are closed tight as I dive headfirst into the water. 

No matter how hard I wish and hope and think I can, I can't orchestrate every step of my life. There's fate, there's chance and there's circumstance. Without these divine interventions and free will, my life would be a much different life.

Had I not shaken the hand of an umpire at a softball game in High School, I may not work at Nike today. Had I not answered an email one day from my former coach, I would have not met my dear friend Brooke. Had I not been at work the day that my job focus changed to Canada this year, I'd have missed out on some amazing opportunities and relationships. Had I done anything differently than I've done up until this point, my life would be a much different life. This is an important fact I have to remember, this and so much more. 

Patience is much easier said than done, right patient bear?

Since I feel full of wisdom, here's some other things I know and advice I want to share.

Dreams are worth having and worth working toward.
Things happen for a reason. 

Hard times are necessary and allow us to grow, to gain perspective, to foster experience. 

Light can be found everywhere, even in the darkest of days (Am I right, Portland?) 

Puppies and horses can be best friends.
Take your time.
Que Sera, Sera.
Brush your teeth.
Be kind to yourself.
Keep your eyes open.
Sleep under the stars.
Love with all your heart.

 

Dr. Jessi out. 

June Accountability Check

When we started this month I was high on life. We had just ended a successful 4th quarter, I met Dan's family and I was looking forward to getting after a lot of exciting work when life was supposed to slow down during the first quarter of our fiscal year.

Very quickly, I found out that the world doesn't always work the way you hope it will and that being open to change is an incredible asset to have.

That being said, June's Eight Great Goals are due for an accountability check...

via

1. I've used up 4 of my 5 early work mornings (6am) and have done a great job at sticking to it even though work has required me to have a lot of tasks complete in just a short amount of time. 

2. My attempt at lifting weights hasn't gone any further than holding hand weights during some longer runs. Starting today (no, really - today!) I'm going to hit the gym and get in front of some iron. Then I'll pick it up, and I'll set it down. My muscles feel good coming off from Tough Mudder and I want them to continue to feel the burn.

3. I've hardly called any friends and really have only talked to family on the phone for Father's Day wishes. Work in progress.

4. No meal schedule for Dan and I - but I've been consistent with packing good lunches as always.

5. No, I'm such a snack fiend - more on that in tomorrow's post.

6. Only daily doubles I've completed this month were on weekends, but with a run completed this morning and weights (as mentioned in #2) this afternoon I'll be on a better schedule.

7. No time off has been scheduled and I don't know if I'll be able to make time this month.

8. I've been pretty good about eating lunch away from my desk, I just need to get better now about actually getting away from the office (conference rooms, etc) so that I can really clear my head.

Expectations lowered? Good!

I'm tracking to my running goals and I'm getting a lot of good sleep (from exhaustion, not relaxation!).

That counts, right?