Things Making Me Happy Right Now

I'm going to have to fill the void with a weird post about the things that are making me happy right now because I'm anxiously waiting out some bigger news. I know, it's not fair to tease like that, but hang around because I promise it'll be good. 

:: Adulting so hard. I'm getting closer to telling you all - y'all? - some big news about how life in Memphis is about to change in a big way. For now, the big accomplishment has been sticking to a budget and using gift cards wherever possible for food and entertainment. And maybe coming to terms that his 33rd birthday and our first Valentine's day wouldn't be over the top like we wanted for each other, but still personal and romantic in an extremely us way. (read: ice cream and sneaky sentimentality)

:: The Amazon Echo we got for Christmas from my parents can stream my favorite Portland radio station and take me back to some of my favorite memories from my hometown upbringing. This includes perfectly mood-induced plays of RHCP's Under the Bridge and dramatic Foo Fighters smash-sessions. I incorporate my old friends into my morning get-ready routine.

:: 5% body weight lost since early December and it's staying off consistently through even the sneakiest holidays. Yes, Valentine's is a perfect time for a cheat-day. Yes, your boyfriend's birthday is a perfect time for a cheat-day. Yes, ah Friday. You're a great excuse too. I think my success is still credited to the If It Fits Your Macros way of life through its flexible dieting guidelines. There's still more that I need to master before sharing what this means exactly, but just take my word that protein is your friend and eating more isn't something to be scared of.

:: Daylight Saving Time begins March 13th! I'm a light in the evening type of girl and will welcome the loss of the hour with all my energy. More time to be outside, more time to enjoy the world and more daylight for my favorite new photography backdrops. It's just around the corner.

:: The return of the right-hand ring on Valentine's day. The promise ring you saw me flashing back in 2014 didn't touch my hand in 2015. The question on my guy's mind was, "Does a promise ring lose its value if the promise I made was broken?". Unfortunately, the answer was 'yes' and the reason it was taken off in the first place. So does fourteen months of preserving the ring in the original box next to the ring I gave him revive that value? As long as we live in the now. Not the past and not the future. now.

Merry & Bright

This weekend I didn't go pick out a tree, I didn't hang the stockings, reminisce over cherished ornaments or wrap any gifts to go under the tree. I didn't hang lights outside and I may have lights strung around my room but those have been there all year long. 

However, I did take the time to get down and dirty with one of my secret guilty pleasures; Sending mail by hand.

Nothing beats the simple joys of hand-writing letters, adding special personal touches, asking loved ones for their current address and slapping your coveted forever stamps onto the envelopes. Especially when it's done on a Sunday while you're sipping coffee out of your favorite sleepy panda mug that good friends like Brooke gifted to you.  

Since sending these cards, I've been doing all that I can to make my December Merry and Bright - more coming up on that soon once I get the crazy of this work-week out of my way and in the rear-view. 

Just about the only thing that beats sending holiday cheer via postage is receiving it. Don't you agree?

Keep feeling those merry & bright vibes this holiday season!

Finding My Happy

"Jessi, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Happy."

I've been on a mission to discover what "happiness" means to me over the past few months and I'm finally ready to share some of the things that I've learned about myself.

At 26 years old I thought that I would know what makes me happy. Fundamentally, I know that I enjoy a sunny day and recognition for a job well done - or flowers just because. But sometimes the world doesn't always show us those sunny days and sometimes the only flowers you get are the ones you buy or grow yourself.

I understood the need to find my happy within myself - the happy that couldn't be controlled by someone or something else.

It's been quite the amazing journey.

For me, finding happiness hasn't been an attempt to make the good things better. It's been discovering the things that make me unhappy and finding ways to cope with them, change the way they impact me and actually turning them into positives.

This process of deconstructing the un-happy has helped to make me less insecure, less guarded, less afraid - and as a result, I've set the foundation to find my true and honest happy place.

Happy is not worrying what others think of me. It's mouthing the words to John Legend's "All of Me" in public (or in the car) and not caring who sees. It's posting another selfie to instagram because I like the way my eyes look - even if it's the fifth consecutive selfie that I've posted in the span of two days.

Happy is writing without reservation. Letting my thoughts get published to the internet was once a scary thing - but now it's exciting. The more I write, the more I find people out there that are just like me. Whether it's something superficial like what kind of eyeliner I use or something serious like how I've blossomed from a breakup - I learn more and more about myself by the community that's unfolded in front of me.  

Happy is wearing less make-up, spending less money on clothes, embracing the way I look in glasses and the way my hair gets frizzy when I've stepped out in the rain without an umbrella. It's putting on clothes in the morning and not standing in front of my closet for another 10 minutes trying to find something that will look better. It's standing in front of the mirror and being proud of the reflection staring back at me.

Happy is taking risks. Seeking rejection. Getting surprised by acceptance. Not setting expectations on the way I think that others should think, feel and react. Happy is forgiving myself. Being honest about what I want.

Happy is stepping out of my scary and stifling 'comfort zone'. Realizing the magic that happens when I test myself and try new things. For example, when I purposefully go to dance class because I have no rhythm, then watching as I improve and even begin to love it. That feeling transfers into other things and helps me to continue to take risks on other things that make me uncomfortable. 

Happy is being comfortable saying no. And being comfortable saying yes. It's having the freedom to make my own decisions because they feel good and they feel right. Not because they're the ones I feel socially pressured to make.  

Happy is shamelessly being me. The goofy, silly, witty, unfiltered me who loves to laugh at myself and loves to laugh with others. Laughter is the key to my heart and the instant way to gain my affection.

Happy is finding the beauty in others. Their imperfections, their quirks, their fears and dreams. Encouraging them to follow their passions - and to be passionate about something. Helping someone else find the happy that they deserve too. Happiness is sharing with others the keys to finding their own happy - whatever that means for them.

I'm proud of the woman I've become and the happiness I continue to pursue.

I Do Not Control the Universe

In my 26 years on this earth I've learned one solid truth many times. 

Many times? 

Yeah, I guess it's like the science facts you learned in 6th grade, the grammar from 4th grade or the calculus from high school - you forget as you age and the games get more serious.

This wicked game that I'm talking about is the fact that I do not control the universe. Nobody does. 

Why is this so hard for me to remember?

I suppose some would call me a passionate person. I get fired up about the way you should put toilet paper on the roll (over, not under...) and the way you put soap into a washing machine (on top of the clothes, before you start the water). I get extra passionate when it comes to my future, like my career or my family or the people I want in my life. I wouldn't say that I want control of my universe because let's be real, that's way too much pressure. But sometimes the uncertainty and disorder I feel gets me about as uncomfortable as having a wedgie in skinny jeans. Just kidding, I technically always have a wedgie, sorry dad.

Let's take a look at the facts.

The only things in life that I can control are my own actions, my own attitude and the way I carry myself. Check. I do not control the way people react to me. I do not control the way that events unfold in front of my eyes. Especially when these eyes are closed tight as I dive headfirst into the water. 

No matter how hard I wish and hope and think I can, I can't orchestrate every step of my life. There's fate, there's chance and there's circumstance. Without these divine interventions and free will, my life would be a much different life.

Had I not shaken the hand of an umpire at a softball game in High School, I may not work at Nike today. Had I not answered an email one day from my former coach, I would have not met my dear friend Brooke. Had I not been at work the day that my job focus changed to Canada this year, I'd have missed out on some amazing opportunities and relationships. Had I done anything differently than I've done up until this point, my life would be a much different life. This is an important fact I have to remember, this and so much more. 

Patience is much easier said than done, right patient bear?

Since I feel full of wisdom, here's some other things I know and advice I want to share.

Dreams are worth having and worth working toward.
Things happen for a reason. 

Hard times are necessary and allow us to grow, to gain perspective, to foster experience. 

Light can be found everywhere, even in the darkest of days (Am I right, Portland?) 

Puppies and horses can be best friends.
Take your time.
Que Sera, Sera.
Brush your teeth.
Be kind to yourself.
Keep your eyes open.
Sleep under the stars.
Love with all your heart.

 

Dr. Jessi out. 

The Happiness Advantage

Let's slow it down, shall we?

I have a desire to get more intellectual, so that means you're going to be taken on the ride with me whether you'd like to or not. Lately I've only been feeding my brain with business details, spreadsheets and the occasional leisure-read of my favorite blogs - but there's a need for new thoughts to expand my brain and get my creative centers firing.

Today I'm sharing a TED Talk (love 'em) that was published 15 months ago but was recently brought to my attention. Shawn Achor, researcher and teacher of positive psychology, walks us through the first time positive psychology crept into his youthful mind and in the twelve minutes of footage had me convinced that my brain is capable of showing me any world I want to see.

In his humorous presentation, he inspires me to challenge myself to reverse the formula I've always used for happiness and success.

For many of us, our picture of success is measured as the following:

If you work harder, you'll be more successful | If you're more successful, you'll be happy

I don't know if it's the same for you, but when I work harder and am successful - I just keep placing the bar higher and higher. While I may experience short-term elation and pride, I'm never fully being satisfied with my accomplishments nor experiencing the "happiness" I'd expected in all the hard work placed into my goals.

Shawn challenges us to re-write the formula for ourselves by training our brain (as we train our bodies) to seek out the happiness and optimism in the world. He cites that your external world does not predict your happiness - but rather the way your brain processes the world around you can create happiness and boost productivity, creativity, understanding, clarity and attitude.

Afterall, perception is reality.

If you do anything today, please click 'play' below and engage in an inspirational conversation with your subconscious:

[ted id=1344]

The Happiness Advantage is also a book you can find on Amazon - I'll be downloading it for my Kindle on iPad soon!