Tuesday, February 18, 2014

TED Tuesday: Rejection Therapy

Rejection sucks, doesn't it?

To not be wanted, to not be needed. To not be 'the right person for the job'. 

The fears of rejection and failure have often stopped me from doing many things in my life. Leaps and risks haven't been taken because I know how bad a "no" can feel. Something so small can crush your dreams and sometimes your spirit in the process. 

The fear of rejection is the most debilitating fear that I've ever experienced. Sometimes I'm afraid of no. Sometimes I'm afraid of yes. Afraid of a "no" because that immediate rejection is a shot to my ego and my self worth. It's a reflection on others' perception of me and what I'm worth. I'm equally afraid of a "yes" because what if the perception of me is great, but then I'm unable to deliver. I'm not the right person for the job, I fail miserably and disappoint whoever gave me that chance in the first place. 

I also fear rejection because even though I've felt it over and over - I'm still not used to it. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing - but it seems like life would be better if you were desensitized to the feeling. That would mean that rejection wouldn't hurt as bad and would allow you to carry forward much quicker than your usual earth-shaking catastrophe experiences. 

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So hey - what would happen if you purposefully sought out rejection? If you asked people for things that you knew they would turn you down for - causing those "no's" to cut you less and less each time you heard one. That would make you less scared right? Sure the "no's" wouldn't be to things that significantly mattered in your world, but you'd at least become accustomed to asking for things and learning people's thresholds right?

Well I have a treat for you! 

Today's TED Talk goes over Jia Jiang's experiences as he subjected himself to 100 Days of Rejection Therapy to get over his fear. Watch the way that he surprised himself and his blog readers in the outrageous things he attempted (and really just how many he was not rejected for). 



Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

hmmm i'm the opposite - i ask because if i don't, i'll never know. i'm also teaching this to my 5yr old - that if you don't ask, you'll never know and that you have to ask to get what you want!

-kathy | Vodka and Soda

Marisa @ Uproot from Oregon said...

This is a crazy idea- but seriously, if you ask ridiculous things- some people might say yes! How do you find out if opportunities exist for you without asking for them?

Ashley - Married to the Game said...

Fear of rejection has stopped me from doing many things before too!

Melissa Suggitt said...

i have a crippling fear of rejection and failure. so i get it. maybe i should try this!

brooke lyn said...

but for reals, the fear of rejection is the worst. ughhh

Kasey Lynne said...

100 Days of Rejection therapy? Ouch.
But honestly, it probably teaches you and makes you grow SO much. I'm just too chicken to try it.