Humpday Confessions: Driving Behaviors

Monday evening when I was driving home from the coast, I was cruising along (57 MPH on cruise control) and was blown past by a gray car going at least 90 MPH. My car rocked from the wind that passed me and I just froze thinking how awfully terrifying it would be to drive that fast. 

Then I laughed because there was a cop coming in the opposite direction and they were sure to get caught up the road. 

Karma. 

Well, then as I was driving further I noticed a state police car a few cars back.  I made sure I knocked that speed down to 56 MPH and drove snap-chat free for the next 25 miles as they trailed me. 

All of a sudden the jerk-squad flipped on his lights and I pulled off to the side of the road. 

It was all I could do to not laugh in the officer's face when he tried to accuse me of being the car that was driving 92 miles per hour! I told him in nicer words that he should have found a way to catch the jackass because it was dangerous. Plus, I had a great alibi because I was in sweat pants and no makeup and made the joke that I had nowhere to be. 

SO with that story, it got me thinking about all of my innocent until proven guilty driving behaviors.

Enjoy.

+ If I'm at a stop light, I'll take a selfie. 

+ If I'm not at a stop light I'll take a selfie.

+ If there's sun rays I'll take an epic selfie (my tongue out for people who didn't have to go to work)

....so many selfies.

+ I've had the same car for 10 years and I still love her even if she just turned 70(k)

+ The side door pocket is my garbage.... chew gum much, Jessi?

+ I've been pulled over 5 times now with no ticket/sorry mom. ***KNOCKING ON WOOD***

+ I eat way too much in the car (because I spend 2 hours per day in there) but I'm working on it - like with these berries!

I am more likely to be caught driving under the speed limit than over the speed limit. Call me weird.

That's all for today, hope you enjoyed and don't criticize me too much on my "garbage".

Linking up with kick-ass Kathy

If You Have A Minute

I know that there's something wrong with my priorities when yesterday (on a day off from work) I almost skimmed over a beautiful piece of writing because at first glance it looked "too long". 

"Too long" because it only had one photo and no gifs. "Too long" because it wasn't a list and it wasn't the usual shit-show I like to entertain myself with in this carefree blog world. "Too long" because it wasn't a weekend recap.

The real tragedy was that I skimmed the first few sentences and went to the bottom where I could enter my comment and was going to say something like "Lady, you're going to look amazing in your wedding dress!".

I don't know what stopped me from hitting the "post comment" button but I'm glad I did - because I would have embarrassed myself and missed out on a beautifully vulnerable girl sharing her beautifully vulnerable story.

So, if you have a few minutes to spare today - first read what I read yesterday, then jump on over for my "guest post" and read about my own paralyzing insecurities. 

Just click my face (or bicep) below to find me!

Things I Learned this Beach Weekend

Writing to you here from the Oregon Coast, my friends!

I'm on a three day weekend with my family so that means great meals, bonding time with my sisters and 2 extra hours back in my day with no commute. It also meant I didn't have to wake up today at 5am to do my favorite "workout or don't workout" game.  That can get exhausting.

First before we get into things I learned this weekend, let's give my mom a huge round of applause for her blog debut - Just Me, Angie!

Follow on Bloglovin' to get her very first published post and all of the fun that comes after that.

It's Monday so we're recapping in the most fun way I know how:

:: I learned that I'm a ninja when it comes to protecting my Mac Book from a coffee spill.
:: I learned that I'm a two-mimosa minimum girl.
:: I learned that the serving size of dried cranberries (1/4 cup) is WAY less than I thought it was.
:: I learned that I like being on beach time.

:: I learned that it doesn't take an entire weekend to design a blog if your client isn't picky.
:: I learned that EDM is my soulmate workout genre (Electronic Dance Music)
:: I learned that a Sunday stretch day is the best thing I can do for my tired muscles.

:: I learned that coconut oil cleans out the system. But really.
:: I learned that sister bonding time is the best way to unwind. (<---Bailey Bella --->)





:: I learned that I like not going to the office on Monday!

Okay, get out of here and go read mom's first post!

This Week in Favorites

Happy to see you, Friday friends!

I want today to be over already so that I can be reading and sipping coffee at the coast for a wonderful three day weekend. I think I've earned a little down time and look forward to no alarm on Monday morning. It's been three months since my last day off and it couldn't be for a better reason than to spend it with my family. 

 (p.s who wants to watch my betta fish?)

So what better way to wrap up the week than with Amanda's Friday Favorites?

Favorite News

You heard it here first - my mom IS going to start her blog and plans to publish next week. Don't worry, I've already taken over her blogger and made sure there's no captcha and that she is a "yes-reply" blogger! Woohoo mom, you'll win the internet!

Mom (and any beginners out there) - here's some great blogs about blogging:

The 20 Stages of Blogging

10 things you can do now to help your blog

The Art of Commenting

Favorite Buzzfeed Articles

Motivational Kid Quotes every Adult Needs to Hear

Cats vs Celebrities (a must see)

Favorite Gif

Oh hey, just eating plants. What's that out there?

Favorite Selfie

After all the talk about my new hair on the internet do you know how many people have noticed it in person?

Big fat zero. Come on people, pay attention!

Don't forget to link up with Amanda and have a great weekend!

A 15 Year Anniversary

After responding to close to 60 comments yesterday (between my two blogs) I feel a little spent today. 

Guys, that's not a humblebrag - that's a holysh*t my blogs were humped hard yesterday thanks to Kathy. I'm surprised I can walk type today. No wonder Wednesdays are my favorite in all of blog land. Each week I get more and more happy to see some ladies link up for their very first times and love it as much as I do. 

However - today is a crazy exciting milestone that I need to share with you wonderful people! 

Today marks 15 years since I had my last soda. 

For those of you who drink one or two a day (or 64oz like you, dad!) this sounds like an impossible feat, doesn't it?

It didn't start for a diet or for a dare - it started in 7th grade at a softball practice where we were tasked with giving up something for a week to work on our mental toughness. A friend and I could have gone the easy route of no TV (or no homework!), but we decided to really challenge ourselves and chose no soda. 

The great thing was that after the week was over I continued the competition and after about 3 weeks I no longer wanted any. Weeks turned to months turned to years... and now here I am - 15 beautiful years later with no soda cravings to be noted.

Of course you're going to say "what about in mixed drinks!" - no, I don't order anything with soda as the main mixer (i.e Jack & coke is off limits - also vodka & soda sorry Kathy). However, I'm sure that negligible amounts have gone into my system as a splash here and a splash there - I'm quite okay with this. It's not about the accidental traces, it's the "sobriety" and will power that matter to me. 

FUN FACTS!

-15 Years is more than half my life.

-15 Years is half the time my parents have been married.

-My favorite kind was Diet Dr. Pepper.

-The last soda I had was Super Size McDonald's Diet Dr. Pepper (and I chose to not finish it)

-I do wish I could have a root beer float.

-The money I save in soda is likely offset by the money I spend on gum. #gumaddict

Judge if you will, but I'm proud. May I also mention I'm approaching 13 years of no french fries?

Now, how am I going to quit you, Extra Sugarfree gum?

Humpday Confessions: My Lazy Bone

Back here for confessions, I see! 

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I feel like I should do a testimonial for Kathy with how much traffic I get on both of my blogs for Humpday confessions. The page views triple on Wednesdays and I almost feel like I need to take the day off of work just so that I can keep up with all of the comments and all of the fun that's going on in blog-world. I seriously don't want to miss a post but I can't keep up with all of the ladies who are sharing their dirty secrets left and right. 

If you've never linked up with Kathy - you're missing out on some serious internet feels! We'll just call it #KathysWorkoutPlan (Like Kanye's, only better).

Today we're going to focus on the biggest bone in my body:

You have this bone too, right? The one that loves to lay on the couch when you know you could be more productive. When there's chores to do or work to be done - that's when she's active the most.

It's the bone that makes you say "Nope."

+ Chewing. Sometimes chewing is hard and I don't think I break my food down enough for my body to digest properly. Sometimes when you have a case of the hangry's you just inhale food, right?

+ I used to be SO good about hunting down the no-reply bloggers but now I've come to a point where I don't know what to do or how to reach some of you. Please fix it?? 

+ Sometimes I don't read the whole email at work. Often I don't regret that decision. 

+ Emptying the dishwasher or folding the clothes out of the dryer. I don't think anything will ever make me enjoy these chores - sometimes I let the need-to-fold laundry pile get 3 loads deep and its on the bed next to me as I sleep. I just can't get motivated to do it. 

+ My iPhone tells me 20% battery left.... 10% battery left... 3% battery left. And yes, all I have to do is reach over and plug her in.

+ And a silly one... Flossing. It feels so good but why don't I do it every single day?

That's all I have to share today, thanks for stopping by! 

Now go give my fitness blog some humpday love!

Linking up with an awesome lady, Kathy

Guest Post - Ignoring Obstacles

Today on my fitness blog we're talking about the obstacles in the road on your fitness journeys and why you should IGNORE them! 

Just click my face (or bicep) below to find me!

Then come back tomorrow for another fun round of humpday confessions!

Things I Learned This Easter Weekend

Happy day after Easter! Who still has a sugar/brunch/mimosa hangover this morning? 

I had an amazing weekend with my family and really wish that I had today off from work rather than next Monday. Heck, why do I even have to choose - let's make a mandate that all Monday's should be extended weekends! Can you do that for me?

Before I recap the weekend, here's the Friday outfit that I chose. Thank you to anyone and everyone who weighed in on the outfit decision. I felt happy and confident - and rocked the presentation!

This weekend I learned a ton of things that I want to link up with Katie and I don't even know if I can remember them all because I'm writing this Easter Sunday after a few mimosas in. Let's give it a try!

Disclaimer: the photos below somewhat have to do with what I learned, but I don't plan to address them all. Still enjoy.

+ I learned that a Sunday haircut at a new salon is the way to go! Not only was it laid back and relaxed, but I got awesome personal attention and parking was easy because everyone else was out fighting the Portland brunch rush. Yay!

+ I learned that I love my hair without layers - no more whispy and frayed ends in my life! Portland people, if you're looking for a stylist you need to schedule an appointment with Emmanuel now.

+ I learned what a Paleo easter basket looks like - yes that's sriracha and broccoli in there. My mom is awesome!

+ I know how to make whipped cream now with coconut cream (Trader Joes) - and it will be one of my summer staples. 

+ I should never make Friday plans because I always seem to nap through them. I was supposed to go to the Spring beer festival with Brooke - but instead had fun at a work party with beer that was free-.99. When I got home it was a nap with no pants and the lights on kind of evening. 

+ I learned that I can do four T25 workouts in one day and that my (super)mom is an animal! Wait, I already knew that. She did two of the workouts with me and wanted to still do another! (more here)

+ I learned I can't be trusted around champagne and OJ - you remember the last time, right?

+ I learned that my mom wants to start a blog about what she wishes she would have known while she was growing up that she knows now..... I'd read it, wouldn't you?!

Tons of education going on this weekend, what did you wonderful people learn and want to share with us? 

Link up with Katie if you know what's good for your health!

Friday Fave's

Hello Friday friends! 

I heard a rumor that most of you have the day off from work today so if that means sleeping in - I'm jealous. If that means you're up early and reading my blog - I'm thankful! If it means you're skipping blogging all together for the weekend - go on with your bad self(ie). 

I normally would be sharing My Week In Gifs for your Friday entertainment - but my lady friend across the country is hosting a Friday link-up that I wanted to support for four main reasons:

1. She's a loyal reader

2. She's a bargain queen

3. She's gorgeous and funny

4. I'm just starting this post at 9:40pm on Thursday night - cheers for link-ups!

Plus she made this link-up button on her own, isn't it pretty?

First before we talk about favorites - I have to mention that I'm finally getting a haircut this weekend and can't wait to flood your instagram feeds with selfies!!! Okay, maybe I'll just do one but know that my snapchat peeps are going to get at least 10.

I'm going to do my own take on this link-up, hope you don't mind!

Favorite Instagram Interaction of the week:

I allowed my followers to pick which outfit to wear to work Friday. It was a question for me because I love dressing springy on Good Friday, but I also have a work presentation where I want to be taken seriously. Let the people vote! 

Helene, bless her soul, was the only one out of 25+ who picked 'left' and I love her for it.

Favorite Video I watched this week:

#WorldsToughestJob (Love you, Mom)

Also in a close second is this: (Helene again)

Favorite Blog Reads this week:

Both are body image / loving yourself / loving others related. Please enjoy and follow these ladies.

Friends Don't Let Friends Fat Talk - I'm Your Katie Qué
April 'Strong' Showers - Kait Makes a Run for It

Favorite Thought Catalogs/Buzzfeeds this week:

21 Reasons I'll "Nope" You on Tinder
22 Times Stephen Colbert was the Perfect Man

Favorite workout this week:

Thursday night I combined a T25 cardio workout with Brooke's Dirty 30 and was a sweat storm.

Absolutely doing it all again.

That's all I've got today! Look out for my new hair selfies and have an amazing weekend!

Don't forget to link up with Amanda!

Stay Golden, iPhone 5s

So I've been feeling pretty handicapped the past few weeks as my iPhone suffered a major functional injury. 

I don't know when, why or how it happened - but all of a sudden the button on the left side stopped working. What's this mean? That I could no longer silence my phone thanks for asking.

The timing of the event seemed to be around when I went on my ski trip, but we can never be too sure about these things. This is my clever way of removing myself from any and all fault and leaving it at the fact that the button stopped working, cut and wet dry. 

Sure it would have been convenient to find out about this button issue in the comfort of my own home (the same way it's convenient for shark week to begin at home, right ladies?) but no - the moment of realization happened one morning at work when I was taking a selfie (see: Snapchat Confessions) and co-workers around me heard the camera shutter click.

Immediately red-faced, I plugged my headphones into the jack and was paranoid about the sound for the rest of the day. 

Not willing to walk around with headphones in my phone all day every day, I did what and normal person would do and recycled a pair of broken headphones I hadn't thrown away yet (read: hoarder) and plugged the hole, thus tricking my phone into thinking I had headphones in. Win/Win right?

It was all cool until people started making fun of my awful set-up. 

Not very good at social criticism, I decided to go to the Apple store to get my baby a doctor appointment. 

The last time I had a functional issue they handed me a brand new phone - no questions asked. So what was it going to hurt to walk in there and get a new phone (especially since I'd dropped mine one too many times):

On Monday I went into the Apple Store and waited as they woefully explained to me that it was a button issue and unfortunately that wasn't a replaceable feature on the iPhone 5.

They commended my work-around, but also said "you could have just used the Do Not Disturb option"

..... don't they know me and know that I need the notifications on. All day, every day.

What were my options?

+ Buy a new iPhone 5 at $269
+ Keep working through my sound issue (and also a corroded battery according to the diagnostic check)
+ Use a family upgrade and get the iPhone 5S

I'll give you one hint what I did - thanks mom and dad!

Now, can anyone explain to me the difference between iPhone 5 and iPhone 5s (with Apple Care!)

Stay Golden, my new pretty baby!