Tuesday, February 17, 2015

When You Get Sucked In

This was my struggle last night.

...home before 5pm even after my kettlebell workout...what should I have for dinner...how do I avoid watching the bachelor...should I do a double-up and go to a sleepy-time yoga class...what should I blog about...what can i wear tomorrow...is seinfeld on...what photos are in my camera roll that I haven't posted yet...what's happening on twitter...on instagram...on facebook...ugh facebook...wait i still didn't have dinner...hey but these tweets make the bachelor sound really entertaining... can't do it.. won't do it... okay, really how do I avoid reading all of these hilarious bachelor tweets...

One guess how my night ended up. 

You're right - a quick salad for dinner and the bachelor - foiled again!

What's a blogger who's trying to get back into things do when she's too scatter brained to write anything worthwhile? She recycles a post of course!

I love love love this post that was published February 18th of last year - it's a solid TED Talk about rejection and how you can get better at it if you consciously try to get rejected. No edits to the original post.....enjoy!

 photo rejected-1.png

Rejection sucks, doesn't it?

To not be wanted, to not be needed. To not be 'the right person for the job'. 

The fears of rejection and failure have often stopped me from doing many things in my life. Leaps and risks haven't been taken because I know how bad a "no" can feel. Something so small can crush your dreams and sometimes your spirit in the process. 

The fear of rejection is the most debilitating fear that I've ever experienced. Sometimes I'm afraid of no. Sometimes I'm afraid of yes. Afraid of a "no" because that immediate rejection is a shot to my ego and my self worth. It's a reflection on others' perception of me and what I'm worth. I'm equally afraid of a "yes" because what if the perception of me is great, but then I'm unable to deliver. I'm not the right person for the job, I fail miserably and disappoint whoever gave me that chance in the first place. 

I also fear rejection because even though I've felt it over and over - I'm still not used to it. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing - but it seems like life would be better if you were desensitized to the feeling. That would mean that rejection wouldn't hurt as bad and would allow you to carry forward much quicker than your usual earth-shaking catastrophe experiences. 

So hey - what would happen if you purposefully sought out rejection? If you asked people for things that you knew they would turn you down for - causing those "no's" to cut you less and less each time you heard one. That would make you less scared right? Sure the "no's" wouldn't be to things that significantly mattered in your world, but you'd at least become accustomed to asking for things and learning people's thresholds right?

Well I have a treat for you! 

Today's TED Talk goes over Jia Jiang's experiences as he subjected himself to 100 Days of Rejection Therapy to get over his fear. Watch the way that he surprised himself and his blog readers in the outrageous things he attempted (and really just how many he was not rejected for).


Tami said...

I love the idea of recycling a post. I also feel your pain about those evenings where you don't know what to do with yourself. Nothing on TV, already worked out, nothing special to make for dinner... it's almost more anxiety inducing than having a packed schedule!

Kathy@RealTalk said...

i go for big picture and figure that you'll never know unless you go for it/ask....to me, the "what if...." is scarier than a big fat NO. at least you know your answer!

Amy Fashion Blog said...

Love your new headshot photo.

Sarah :: Plucky in Love said...

Going to watch this TED talk while I put on my makeupz for work. PS. It's your blog. You don't have any pressure to write any certain things, amount, frequency, topics, etc. That's the beauty of it. Unless someone is paying to blog, then, perhaps, you might take a look at his or her project timeline. ;)

P!nky said...

Ugh, rejection! It's sooooo scary! But like Kathy said, WHAT IF is scarier than no!

Helene in Between said...

Rejection is something we're all afraid of, but it is part of life so we have to deal with it! thanks for sharing.

Nadine Lynn said...

Oh rejection. Something I battle with all of the time. I hate rejection, but not trying something and regretting it is way worse!

The Bachelor will rot your brain, stop that shit immediately!

BLovedBoston said...

I love TED talks and don't think i've seen this one!! Rejection is definitely not fun but it's part of life i suppose...doesn't make it easier to hear NO!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

Melissa Suggitt said...

muahaha the bachelor has sucked you in!!!

also, love this post deary <3

Kay R. said...

So cool that is was posted almost to the day! Rejection sucks but its part of life right? Its how we pick ourselves up after. Loved reading this.

Also... the bachelor ... it sucks me in every bloody week!