You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don't Take

Being in a long distance relationship, my guy and I play this game where we see "what it would take" to see each other. We make bets on how much the flight would cost (one way vs round trip) and we say ridiculous things like "I'll be at the airport at 10am waiting", or "You want to go try that new breakfast spot tomorrow?".

We know it's all in fun and maybe a little counter-productive because 99/100 times we're not actually going to make good on our plans. 

This week was the 1 time out of 100. 

We played this game on Tuesday and I found an amazing round trip itinerary that cost as many airline miles as it would take to get to Seattle and back. After the months of playing this game, it seemed outrageous to have this golden opportunity in front of me and not even make the attempt to execute. After all you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right?

So what did I do?

I arranged my schedule so that I could work remotely across the country and I hopped on a plane yesterday afternoon. (heart eyed cat emoji times 1,000,000)

Willie was game to lay on the famous carpet at the Portland Airport to get a shot of us pre-trip and how excited we were to get to sit in the middle seat for 5 hours. I got some flack for this shot on social media because people were disgusted that I was laying on the floor, but really guys - you know that I went down to an empty corridor with good lighting so that I wasn't "that girl" taking 40 selfies till it looked just right. And for the record it only took 3. 

Happy weekend friends, go check out the fun on Melissa's page with some Relationship Q&A from your favorites!

What Was Learned While I Was Away

Hey blog, how've you been without me?

While I'd love to say that I've been off doing wild and crazy-fun things, I haven't. The reality is that the majority of my time since I last showed up was spent with the glow of my work laptop illuminating my face. 

This wasn't a surprise - the next 3-5 (maybe 12!) months will be crazy - but this time around when the smiley-emoji shit hits the fan I'll be mentally and physically equipped to deal with it.

Since I've been away, I've obviously learned a lot.

:: RIP Confessions Link up. I was hoping Kathy was just kidding about burying her Wednesday link-up, but then I realize that she doesn't mess around and wouldn't just say that to create blog drama. Don't worry, I'll still share embarrassing things here on the blog but will have to do it solo.

:: I learned that daily disposable contact lenses are infinitely better than the 2 week replacements - because let's be honest, they linger for more like 4-6 weeks and are probably damaging my vision even more than my legally blind status right now. Looking forward to my new glasses!

:: I finally caved and bought a Spiralizer on Amazon - and i'm silly-excited to start using it. Man-friend thinks I'll only use it three times and then it'll get tossed into the cabinet where kitchen appliances go to die, but I'm certain it'll be in the regular rotation just like my scramble skillets.

:: Man friend came to town last weekend and I didn't blog about it for two main reasons - 1. We only took laying-in-bed-watching-Netflix Selfies 2. We worked the entire time that we weren't sleeping / Netflix-ing / Parent Visiting. I learned that it doesn't take anything more than just him by my side to make the weekend complete. #sappy

:: I learned that having a little companion around the house is a great change, even if it's only temporary for the week! Also, it was much easier to cat-sit now that I don't have a betta fish - RIP Tiger.

That's all, Happy Monday!

Are you linking up with Katie today?

So I Went to Mexico with a Boy and Other Confessions

Sorry to leave you hanging yesterday, but I couldn't come back from 2 weeks of absence and hit you with substance. I had to get back into the writing flow with something shallow like the length and color of my hair. It was also an attempt to cleverly attract you while simultaneously buying time to write the vacation recap + other confessions.

To be honest, I've been away from blogging for so long that I wasn't sure if Kathy still hosted confessions on Wednesdays, if people still used twitter or if hashtags were even still a thing. #TheyAre #Blessed. Actually I was also surprised to see there was a new iPhone out, like I've been living in a cave or something.

That's how removed I've been from the internet world the last few months and I want to come clean with my list of reasons for being so remorselessly MIA:

1. Work
2. Summer
3. A Boy

While I'd love to tell you exactly what "work" and "summer' mean, I know you really just came here to read about the boy-carrot I've been dangling in front of you for about a month now. (btw, google image search "boy carrot" for a giggle).

The slightly ironic thing about today's confession is that this isn't the first time I've talked about this boy here on this blog.  If you need to catch up, here's the post you might remember. #SpoilerAlert

Through the events that played out as a result of work and summer, we were reunited 75 days after we had mutually decided to spend the rest of our forevers apart. And I mean forever. Quickly through our re-connection, the sparks, the magic and the happy fuzzy feels of being back in contact caught us both by surprise.

From my point of view, an anxious and uneasy surprise. From his, "a pleasant one".

You see, the sparks and the feels were there before and arguably had never died, but we stuffed those beautiful beams of light into a tiny box - locked it, threw away the key, buried the box a mile under ground and erected the next world's tallest building with a "shit-load of concrete" on top of it. Hoping and willing that those sparks and feels would never again see the light of day.

But duh, you know as well as I do that magic and sparks can't be forced into darkness.

The time that we spent apart concealing that magic was liberating, eye opening and extremely helpful for resetting my personal value, my self-worth and experiencing the blossom effect that happens after a break-up. Repairing myself and rebuilding into something better was time well spent, but when those sparks rose from the dead and waved themselves frantically in front of my face, they suggested that I give this man and this terrifying thing called love another chance. A chance that I've since tried to sabotage, a chance that I've since tried to nourish and a chance that I owe to the decisions and sacrifices that have led us here.

So this boy (who I can't really call a "boy" as he's 4 years my senior) and I live 2,000 miles from each other. Aside from hours on FaceTime and quick weekend trips, we don't get to touch each others faces more than the pets we give on the front-facing iPhone camera (you can turn away now from the mush, but I'm just getting to the vacation recap). Because of all this apart-ness, we planned a week-long tropical Mexico vacation to serve as our last escape before a crazy few months ahead in our careers.

Ole! Onto the good parts! By the way... his name is Brian.

Brian and I met up in Dallas for our connecting flight to Cancun and we were so excited to get Popeye's Chicken see each other at the airport that we almost missed our flight. We didn't have seats booked together but somehow he negotiated the aisles across from each other. Meanwhile I was busy doing my part by gracefully spilling 20oz of water into the aisle, accompanied by a chorus of gasps from the witnessing passengers.

When we made it to Cancun we grabbed some cervezas and jumped on the shuttle that took us an hour south to my first all-inclusive resort experience. Our room overlooked the "adults only" side along with the dolphin / manatee tank where they did daily swim experiences.

Between the food, the booze, the pools and the entertainment - the place where we spent the most quality time was at the life-sized chess board.

Let me preface that one of the qualities that I find most attractive about this guy is his brain, followed closely by his competitive spirit. He's brilliant. Put those two things together with a person who's never played chess before (against me who was in the Chess club through 4th grade) and you don't need alcohol for entertainment. Things got heated as I continued to chirp "check" and asked "now why would you move that there?".

Since Mexico he's drastically improved his chess game but I'll just take the credit as my solid teaching. Right?

The week was spent within the grounds of the resort - overlooking the ocean, kayaking, renting a cabana, playing pool bingo, beating him in pool H-O-R-S-E and pool P-I-G (he is athletic, I promise. He beat me in a footrace on the beach), trying out the restaurants, dusting off my Spanish minor with some translation assistance and watching classic films I'd never seen like Blazing Saddles and Something About Mary.

I even convinced his sleepy-head to wake up with me for the sunrise on our last day (that he continued to actually call the "sunset" because I don't think he's ever woken up for a sunrise).

We avoided the flood of work emails that were coming in as much as possible and  kept our phones tucked away in the hotel safe - which is the main reason for so few photos. We ordered corn dogs from room service like it was our last meal. And lastly maybe because of the corn dogs we spent a ton of time battling each other for the toilet - absolutely THE most romantic time we've ever spent together.

Positive side - I didn't get a sunburn and I haven't been peeling my skin like I did after the week I spent in Belize earlier this summer. #winning

[Brian Wants To Interject: "Hey! I like how you didn't mention that I beat you in ping-pong and spoke Spanish better than you. Or that I won a bracelet for the dog you in pool bingo.]

Oh yeah, he won this bracelet for me and I haven't taken it off since!

In short, Brian's pretty special to me and we had a wonderful escape from reality together.

My favorite memory from the trip was tackling each other in the cold sand and staring up at the stars while we threw handfuls of sand in each other's hair. Also, when I come back in another life I want to be a manatee. They were the cutest cows of the sea that did nothing but love and snuggle on one another. What a sweet existence.

I'm excited that my "coming out party" got to be with my Wednesday confessions. Mainly it just feels good to share what's been making me so happy and blog-absent.

Really where I could use your help today is to send your good vibes. He's coming to visit this weekend and will be meeting my parents for the first time! Over Chicken & Waffles, naturally.

Give him your worst, Angie!

Go Link Up with Kathy!

One Year Anniversary

To be honest it feels like an eternity (in a good way) that my Daniel and I have been together.

Today, however, is what we have chosen to mark as our official one year, all thanks to a relationship status upgrade on our Facebook accounts (yes, seriously)

The two year courtship from Summer 2010 to Summer 2012 is what makes it hard to believe that we are officially celebrating a year, but August 19th is our special day because we shouted our togetherness to the world, a significant step in our time spent together.

If you haven't been around here for very long I recommend reading this post first - it gives you some context around our relationship before the blog.

Daniel,

Thank you for being my companion, my best friend and my love.. . I can't explain how the past three years of knowing you have changed my world.

You're my everything and I feel the same from you (except sometimes I think you like golf just a little bit more).

Every day you make me laugh, every day I love you more and every day I think of how much I'll never be satisfied with the time I'll have with you.

Thank you for always supporting my career, my blog, my dreams and my decisions. Thank you for being an amazing father to our water and fur children (Holly and Tiger).

I can't wait to make more memories with you for years and years Daniel <3

Phew, sorry for the sap-fest blogland - yes, you can vom a little. 

From the past year, here's a great dump of "us" photos - together, across from each other and drinking in "two's".

August's Eight Great Goals

You guys almost had the pleasure of hearing the man behind the blog today.

I tried to get him to write a post because I didn't get to start writing until 10pm, but he plead a great case that he doesn't know how to write, or even read for that matter.

So instead of writing, I allowed him to take 100% control of August's Eight Great Goals and have to say I'm looking forward to what he's outlined for me.

1. Go See Something In Toronto

Cat's out of the bag! I'm heading back to Toronto for two weeks in August. This upcoming week I arrive mid-day Sunday and then the final week of August again, eh? 

Last time I was there this is one of the only non selfie/ non food photos I captured. At least the trip made for a decent rant. 

2. Have an Entire Week of Blogs Complete By Sunday Night (once)

What! Dan, I did a great job last month doing three blogs - I think he just likes me doing writing on the weekend so that I'm occupied and not whining about the golf addiction mentioned here.

**Also, does he realize that being done writing blogs is different than being done reading blogs? I don't know that he does.

3. Give Thanks Where Thanks are Due

I come home at night each day and feel like all of the work I'm doing is going un-thanked and unappreciated - so I can only imagine how my co-workers feel taking on all of my usual work on top of their own work the past few weeks.

I do thank them, but I probably don't do it nearly enough. I also don't thank Dan nearly enough for all of the things he helps me with at home

4. Don't Say the Word "Hate"

Yeah, this one is solid. I love to say the word 'hate'.

"I hate you", "I hate this", "You hate me", "Holly Hates us", "Everyone hates you". "I hate ice cream"

It's all in fun and always sarcastic, but saying 'hate' just projects negative energy and life's too good to be living so bad.

5. Get Home Before 7pm on Weeknights

Um, I really hope this means more date nights? And if not more date nights at least more wine nights? Let's discuss.

6. Run During the Work Day

I used to knock out so many miles in my previous job during the actual workday and it made life a lot easier for everyone. I'm not going to get in the same situation I did in July with having 46 miles in the last 6 day - there's got to be a better way to budget my time.

7. Say No

Ha-ha this vine clip below says it all.

Sadly the first things I've already said 'no' to that impact this month are Hood To Coast and Intramural League Softball. Next 'No' needs to be something that means more fun, not less fun.

8. Have Drinks with Friends 

This is a no-brainer. I used to do two or three nights out with ladies during the week, even karaoke on weeknights! I just can't party anymore like I used to, but that doesn't mean that I can't meet up for a Happy Hour after work at least once this upcoming month (even with only 14 days in the country).

There you have it. This is what I'm tracking to all month.

When you're ready come get it

And Somehow He Still Loves Me

Normally on Thursdays we throw it back and I talk about something that's going on in my world today (usually work) that sounds a lot like little Jessi and I include a cute photo from the 90's.

Today we're not going down memory lane, but instead we're going to talk about my guy.

...Actually, before we talk about him I'd like to paint the picture of what the past 4 months has looked like for 'us'.

Starting in April, my job got really serious really quickly. Like, knock me on my face and sit me in front of a computer for 12 hours a day serious. From training new co-workers to taking on more responsibilities that anyone would ever entrust in a 25 year old, my "life" outside of work is really just repairing from all of the hard work I'm putting in and churning out.

We 'used to'...

We used to carpool, we used to run together, we used to head to the coast for the weekend and we used to actually have conversations with each other. We even used to show affection toward one another rather than a kiss on the forehead in passing.

Nowadays, I get home from a 12-14 hour work day (plus up to 2 hours total commute) and can't think to do a single thing.

I don't have the energy to feed the cat, to do laundry, dishes, not even cut an avocado for the smallest portion of our dinners (the dinners that he's prepped over the weekend).

My guy does it all, doesn't complain about it and only asks me for help when he really needs it, because he knows how much I've been through day in and day out and wants to help me... just because he cares.

After all he does for me, I still somehow find it necessary to gripe every single weekend about the amount of time he spends playing golf and working his second job at a golf course. Forgetting about all the time I'm away from him either working or running.

I throw a toddler fit for two reasons: 1. I love spending time with him. 2. I miss laughing every day with my best friend.

Our relationship has had setbacks at the hand of my career this spring and summer - and he has been the most supportive, caring, wonderful guy through all of it.

Tuesday night this week I finally cracked.

Since last week's trip to Canada, I've been low on sleep, developed a twitchy eye (don't lie and tell me it's not noticeable, please tell it how it is and say I look like shit), and was at work with back and forth emails and reports until 9pm Tuesday.

I drove home exhausted - which is probably the equivalent of buzzed - and walked in the door to flowers and candles on the table, a dinner that never happened and shoe boxes stacked up on the side table.

As if the tears I shed on the drive home weren't enough, I dramatically dropped all of my bags onto the floor, wrapped my arms around him and did my worst best ugly cry for 15 minutes straight,  repeating between shuffled breaths how much I love him.

Wouldn't you love him too?

For a guy who does everything and asks for absolutely nothing in return - I can't believe he's still in love with me too.

Dan, you're my everything. Let's have more fun together, please? 

Tough Mudder #2

First I want to say another Happy Father's Day to my amazing dad! I didn't get to spend any of the weekend with him but mom treated him right and we will celebrate properly later this week. It sounds like all of you out there also have pretty remarkable dads. That makes me happy.

This weekend was Tough Mudder #2 for me and it was fun to drag Dan along - even if it meant having to watch the DVR version of the US Open when we got home.

Brooke was awesome and drove us East to the city of Fossil where we witnessed the other side of Oregon that those of us from the city often forget about. Fossil, OR is a place where there's no cell service and a simpler way of life on the ranch.

Or way of life on the ranch was anything but 'simple', but at least we had a fun stay!

Quick Hits - then I'm hitting the pillow!

• Last year I only made it over 3 of 4 walls, this year I made it over all 4 (with 2 slanted toward us!)


• Last year I fell multiple times on Everest and never made it up (I quit) and this year I made it up the first time!


• Having Dan there was the extra boost I needed to get me through <3


• Dan was a sweetheart and crashed into the water on the monkey bars before me, just to make it less embarrassing when I fell in on the first rung


• Arctic Enema was actually a welcome relief from the warm temperatures


• I had a 'Brain Reboot" (blacked out) for a moment through Electric Eel. I opened my eyes, heard white noise and just kept crawling.

Sorry for not many photos, my iPhone was stored in our bag pretty quick once we made it to the venue - you'll have to wait for the official race photos!

Thanks for a fun weekend, friends!

And yes, this was me on the monkey bars.

Wedding Weekend

Thank you for sticking with me this week. It's been a long one. #TWSS

From the start of the work week where Dan and I didn't arrive into PDX until 2:30am Monday, to going cross-eyed over spreadsheets Monday and Tuesday, confidently delivering my beautiful work on Wednesday and some defending of my numbers today - I'm so thrilled that it's Friday.

Let's talk about how my weekend was where I finally got to Meet the Parents and a few other special members of Dan's family!

Friday was a wild and crazy day at work and I did everything possible to get out of the building before noon so that I'd be able to connect with mom and make my flight. With a lightly packed gym bag and fully charged electronics I stepped onto the plane and took a nap instantly. Before I knew it I was in Texas for my layover and had already sat down to enjoy the sweet taste of victory for my successful Quarter.

I made it into Nashville just before midnight on Friday where Dan escorted me back to our hotel in Kentucky to a King size bed that has us wanting to make a purchase soon. We made a pit stop for a quick snack and since we were somewhere foreign Dan insisted that White Castle was the only place we could go.., so obviously there's no photo evidence of what we actually ordered and consumed. #Faturday

The very next morning came early as we were woken with an invite to breakfast, at which I immediately jumped out of bed and into get-ready-to-impress mode for the first meeting in person. Holding Dan's hand as we approached the restaurant, I instantly felt a calm aura when I saw Dan's mom, dad and sister in the hotel lobby. Before I knew it I was meeting aunts and uncles from Chicago and Switzerland, bridesmaids and former neighbors. I hadn't even finished my first cup of coffee yet!

After passing through the first round of interviews, Dan and I went on an errand run to find him razors and the finishing touches on the gift we got for the bride and groom.  Exhausted and a little taken aback by the humidity, Dan and I both took the afternoon calm to catch a quick nap.

Like magic, I was soon dressed, in the chapel and witnessing this beautiful lady walking down the aisle. Her parents gave her away in front of family and friends while shutter clicks could be heard from all around the chapel.

These are not my photos. I was too busy admiring her dress and dreaming about my own aisle moment.

Following the wedding, we took our time to get back to the reception hall for a wonderful meal and a night full of dancing. Once I dined and was ready to get my man out on the floor, we danced the night away and had everyone in the room thinking that we'd taken lessons together. From there we laughed, I made new facebook friends, I even grabbed the microphone when the timing was right and had family members asking Dan "Where did she come from?"

Sunday morning came too soon and we said our goodbyes at the Louisville airport. Once we were through security we treated ourselves to "two means four" whiskey orders to celebrate a successful first meeting of hopefully many. Other airport antics included planks, walking around, delay after delay and finally coming home to my amazing parents who picked us up at 2:30 in the morning with the golden sisters - and with a special made lunch in hand.

Such a wonderful weekend, thank you for a wonderful time Dan and family! Congrats, Emily!

Throwback Thursday: Meeting the Parents

I can't believe that it happened so quickly, but it's May 30th and in two days I get to finally meet Dan's family.

Dan's already been in Chicago for a week and has been doing everything from meals with family members to golfing daily with friends (big surprise!). Originally the master scheme was to leave Portland together over Memorial Day weekend and get the grand tour, but the timing wasn't in my favor with the end of our fiscal year this week. The trip to Chicago is postponed and rather I head to Bowling Green, Kentucky tomorrow - the location of Dan's little sister's wedding.

Yikes - meeting the family at a wedding! I know, I'm a little nervous too! 

I joke, I'm probably not as nervous as the normal girlfriend should be for the occasion. I've had the pleasure of loyal readership and email correspondence with Dan's mom, while I've overheard the jovial voice of Dan's dad when they're on the phone together bantering about everything sports, cars, motorcycles and action movies. 

It's a little crazy for me to think of all the time Dan's spent with my family and how often I've had to sit back and read mom and dad's facial expressions depending on what was coming out of Dan's mouth. Remember the flower incident, Dan? Now it will be fun to witness him with that feeling. He will have to make sure that I'm keeping in line, not doing my infamous nervous jabber and most importantly that I don't drink too much and take over the microphone at the reception in front of the guests. Kidding, but seriously.

An extremely rewarding part about the trip will be leaving work in the middle of the day tomorrow to catch my flight - the perfect way to wrap up the past three months of the most demanding and exhilarating work of my life.

Today's Throwback Thursday is brought to you by a girl who knew the importance of packing light, dressing for the destination and posing with confidence:

See you soon, baby!

The Truth about Cohabitation

I alluded to sad times last year during this week and I guess I can't really back away from writing this post now.

You've all given me positive feedback about the Boyfriend + Cohabitation posts for the last 20 weeks (TWENTY?) and I'm here to tell the story about our relationship before he moved in with me. A story about when I moved in with him.

Dan and I met in the summer of 2010 through an intramural softball league and didn't exactly hit it off at first sight. He was the 3rd baseman and I was the first basewoman. Any of you who know a thing about intramural softball would know that the 3rd and 1st positions interact a lot. I say we didn't hit it off so well because he'd always short hop me (bruises!) or air mail me (white girl can't jump!) and I just thought he wasn't good at ball. There wasn't much there to kick off a conversation!

Our first memorable interaction was after our team had won first place and went out to celebrate afterward with beer and tots. He conveniently pulled up a chair next to me, cracked every joke he could to have me in stitches and even snuck his way into getting my phone number when I was sharing it with some of the ladies on my team.

From that day on, he and I hit it off easier than I'd ever gelled with a guy before. Conversation flowed seamlessly, we'd meet late for dinner and drinks and wind up closing down wherever we went, no matter how late their hours were. 10pm, 1am, on weeknights! We didn't want to leave one another's company until we were given the glare and the 'you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here' look from the bar/restaurant/pool hall's staff.

These late nights weren't exactly easy on me gramma likes her sleep and one day in early 2011 before an evening meet-up I stopped at Target on the way to dinner and bought a new outfit. The outfit wasn't for the date, it was for work the next morning. I was going to stay the night. I surprised myself with this bold move, mostly because I wasn't the girl that did that type of thing on the regular, but also because my intent wasn't a relationship with Dan.

So, Jessi - what exactly were you trying to accomplish by staying the night with a 'friend' with no intention to date him?

I still can't answer that question. There was something about Dan that brought me comfort, confidence, peace of mind and happiness. That one night staying over turned into two nights a week, turned into me bringing over clothes and buying an extra hair dryer. Then two nights a week turned into more - rearranging his closet to fit more of my things, going to ikea together to install a place where I could get ready in the mornings. Four nights a week then morphed into grocery shopping for the two of us, buying furniture together and making decisions about travel together - and yet I still wasn't his girlfriend. Oh, so that's where 'cohabitation' comes from!

It went so deep as to not having access to my full wardrobe for a year.

Spring of 2011 quickly turned into Summer of 2012, memories, dates, road trips together - and I still wasn't claiming him as my boyfriend. I still hadn't told my parents, friends, co-workers or loved ones that I was involved in a relationship, that I hadn't stepped foot into my own home for months or that I was even dating someone. Someone as special as my Daniel.

If I was Dan I would have quit me a long time before that. I was a jerk.

Late Spring of 2012 Dan's sister called him and excitedly announced that she was engaged! He was so happy for her and at the same time guilt hit me like a brick wall. Was I leading him on? Was he going to start thinking about marriage soon? Is he my forever or was he just the closest chair?

After a hard weekend conversation with my mom just a few days after she met Dan for the first time at my 24 1/2 birthday dinner, I decided that I had to end whatever it was that I was doing. During my conversation with my mom which she will still never forgive me for I didn't confess that I'd been living with him for a year. She sensed from meeting him that we were great friends but that if I wasn't going to date him then I needed to give him space and let him find 'the one'.

Monday May 21st after work I let myself into his home, rolled up my sleeves and removed every last piece of evidence that I'd ever lived there. Through waterfalls of tears I raced up and down the stairs with handfuls of clothing on hangers, duffel bags full of shoes, grocery bags that carried make-up and craft supplies, the kitchen appliances...everything that I'd brought into his home and that we'd made ours. I was in such a hurry because I didn't want his roommate to catch me and even worse for him to catch me.

I was on the road within an hour - my little car was bursting at the seams with bags and shoes, ugly cry/sweaty hair, heartbreak to the max.

I hadn't even given him a hint that I wouldn't be home that night.

At 6:45 I received a text message from him "What can I make us for dinner?" More tears.

I cried myself to sleep that night, I sobbed to my mom on the phone several times, I cried and cried to Dan when we met the next afternoon for lunch to talk through why I'd left. That I was really just scared, that I wasn't his one and he wasn't mine. Sitting there in the restaurant, there was no emotion on his face, no concern for my heartbreak, nothing but an acceptance that what we shared was over and that he wasn't going to spend another minute chasing after my affection. I thought this was where the secret story of our time together would end.

But it didn't.

For days and nights, sitting at my desk or over a simple conversation I'd break into tears over what I felt I'd lost. No, what I'd thrown away.

After suggesting dinners, drinks, lunch, walks in the park, everything to see him - I finally dragged him away from a workout and treated him to seeing The Avengers on a weeknight.

The drive to the theater was silent, during the movie I extended my fingers to hold his hand and instead he handed over the package of twizzlers we'd snuck into the theater. We didn't speak much, and I felt like my window of opportunity was shrinking.

Just one mile before I was to his home and going to have what seemed to be my last face to face conversation with him, I calmly spoke.

"Dan, do you trust me?"  (silly question)

"Uhhh.... " (with that look he gives me)

"Well, I'm a little crazy, but what if we start. over?"

(blank stare).(frustration). "How?"

"Start over! You forget me, I forget you - we forget everything we've ever done together and we just start. over. Right now, see -" I pull out my phone. "This is you in my phone. I've never deleted a single text message from you. Do you trust me?"

"There's no way to start over, Jessi. There isn't."

"Dan! Watch me." Swipes finger across the screen, taps the red bar. "You and everything you've ever been is now deleted in my phone. Now you do it too!"

An uneasy Dan pulls out his phone and with less drama does the same, and away went all of the messages we'd ever shared.

I dropped him off to his home, looked him deep into his eyes and said, "you know where to find me".

And he found me.....

Happily and instantly, we started over.

Wrap n' Roll

Wrapping up the week and rolling straight into the weekend, that's the name of the game! This week has flown by and I've also felt incredibly productive both at work and at home. I was able to run 4 weekdays (including this morning...which was a really early alarm for everyone), got a great amount of work done and was even able to sneak in a pedicure, a movie and some time with my Mr. Dan.

First of all, the half birthday celebrations yesterday were more than expected as always and I feel pampered, loved and fulfilled.

The day started out with Dan chauffeuring me into work in the rental mini-van, then returning to deliver me a extra big latte with extra big results, followed by a facebook frenzy of well wishes by friends, family and the sweet little sisters below - who are experts at photo editing #amIright?

The next wonderful thing that happened to me was this 'omg!' inducing lunch complete with meal-prepped grilled chicken, lettuce, 1/2 avocado and S.R.I.R.A.C.H.A. Dan was in charge of the sriracha 'drenching' on this one and sad to say it just didn't kick enough. Therefore, tomorrow's container leaves the chicken unrecognizable to the naked eye. #morespiceplz

At the end of the day after I had to put out a few tiny little fires at the workplace, Dan swooped me up and took US to get pedicures together in Beaverton. He loves taking me to get pedicures and he's the happiest guy I've ever seen sitting back in the massage chair, people touching his weary hairy feet and even a little nail polish. He may not be as appreciative of me getting photo evidence for the blog, but I think he and his clear-painted nails will get over it!

To wrap up the evening, this handsome guy whisked me away in our weekend rented mini van and we headed to Cinetopia for dinner and Great Gatsby. I was thrilled beyond belief as I saw a dear childhood friend of mine enter the theater just after me, and it was a great to giggle, chat and make 'let's see each other soon' plans with one another. In the meantime I'll work on finding old photos of our younger years for a Throwback Thursday, Gretchen!

When we returned home late, I was surprised to find that my parents had dropped off a chocolate cake, fresh raspberries, a gift card to our favorite java spot and a beautiful flower in a vase picked straight from the garden - all for the special day!

I have the greatest family, friends and boyfriend I could ever ask for. It's easy for my mind to be happy when there's so much positive energy flowing through my beautiful life.

This weekend I have a lot of solid blog (this one) and educational reading/viewing to dive into (like this!) - many peaceful running miles while Dan's off being important, and a whole amazing world around me to take in, one breath at a time!

Week 18: Cohabitation

I'm so happy that Dan and I headed to the coast last weekend because we really haven't seen much of each other this week. We've both been so busy that when we do see each other it's dinner time, it's get-ready time or it's 'dont-bother-me-i'm-blogging-time'. Rough life

Before we get started with the week - check out the Bad Lip Reading for The AMC's The Walking Dead

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR4lLJu_-wE?feature=player_embedded&w=640&h=360]

...Dan says that's me at 2:45

Back at it -

House chores have fallen by the wayside and just yesterday we sorted week old mail into three important piles. The yours, mine, and 'how do we stop getting this...' piles are still sitting on the dining room table, but at least they've been sorted. Third time was a charm on loading / running the dishwasher as well. Soap was in, racks were loaded, but somehow there was no urgency in actually running the thing. Lastly, you know it's bad when you decide to just buy more athletic wear to stretch out the frequency of laundry loads rather than just find the time. Love the new sports bras though!

Enough about what we're doing wrong! How about what we've done right this week! Food related, obvi

1. Avocado + Sriracha Toast at the Coast

2. Costco trip turned into a belated Happy Birthday cake

3. Cinco de Mayo guacamole prep - yum! 

4. Post dinner-date with Brad and Brooke led us to ice cream

Dan wanted to make sure that I shared some of the cuteness from this weekend. Bella is an excellent snuggle-bug and my handsome Daniel was happy to take a nap on a hot day. Daniel is a favorite among the two golden sisters, they find it hard to leave his side when he's around.

Can you even believe that he and I have lived together for 18 weeks? I can't - it feels like much longer than that and I am so thrilled to call this house a home.

Enjoy your weekend and hug/call/cherish your mother!